So my son came by yesterday to get some of his stuff....the place he is staying sounds like a pretty bad situation. The dad called me the other night to check in which was good BUT a lot of what he told me sent alarm bells ringing...not about my son but about what goes on in that house over there. I like my sons girlfriend and she is open with me. She is not a drug use and told him she is gone if he starts using again. So they are looking at an apartment. It is not in a great place but it is the only place they could possibly afford. I told them I would help them get in there (ie pay first/last month rent) but I would expect to get the last month back when they are in their last month! I would not pay any monthly expenses and I would not co sign a lease and I will not give my so cash. They both are working so hopefully they will manage the rent etc. I did ask them if they are really ready to live together. I doubt they are to be honest but I also don't think their current situation is a good one. I feel good about this balance because my son is not demanding anything, he is accepting easily what I will give and what i won't and I do want to help them get out of where they are at. My daughter has plans for Sat night so I inivited them over for dinner.... and they accepted. Good food counts for a lot. We will see how that goes.