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<blockquote data-quote="JoyceM" data-source="post: 651061" data-attributes="member: 18852"><p>Thanks you, fellow moms! Oh, yes I am definitely guilt of enabling. Let me address some questions:</p><p>As a high schooler, he was a very mediocre student, doing just what was necessary to graduate. Dabbled in pot and alcohol but we never witnessed him drunk or high. He never missed school or obligations, but he was always on the fringe, with some sketchy friends. When he turned 19 he started with the bingeing, which led to disorderly conduct and public intoxication. It has been downhill since then with about a 3 month cycle of bingeing. It got to the point to where I put a Tracker on the car. My husband and I were pulling him out of bars, or chasing him down to give up the keys. We didn't want innocent people hurt. When I think of how many times we told him he was headed for this, ugh, my stomach just turns. </p><p>At this point though, he denied having a problem... "Everyone drinks" and "people my age only socialize in bars" ...the usual mantra of a young adult alcoholic.</p><p></p><p>He graduated college in May and we thought he finally made it over the hump. Had a quiet spring and summer until July. Binged and made a total ass out of himself on an overnight trip with a family friend's daughter (as friends only-no romance.) Needless to say, my best friend and her family have little to do with us now. At that point he went to IOP#1. Started out well , but had to take a class in the summer so the IOP took a back seat , and it gradually faded away. " They're all there only because it's court ordered" was his way of saying he was too good for it. I begged him To take Antabuse here, but he knew all about the toxicity and basically talked the doctor out of prescribing it.</p><p></p><p>Started school in the fall. Went to class drunk and was summarily dismissed from the program. (Zero tolerance policy in medications). He was devastated and the time and didn't get out of bed for a week. At this point we figured, it's over, he lost his appeal, so we took him into fam biz. He can be a great employee or a horrible employee....you're never quite sure what you're gonna get. He is very good with customers (knows the business, charming, looks good, speaks well) but is much too immature to be counted on, or to ever take it over. Anyway, he started IOP#2.</p><p>He does the requisite number of weeks and they dismiss him with flying colors. I was shocked. This was a hospital-based IOP but there was no family counseling, very little doctor-patient interaction, etc. </p><p></p><p>Fast forward to January. binged, drives drunk, gets a DUI. Now we are back to all the legal ramifications, financial, etc. He is also trying to get some professional licenses which may be moot with this on his record. I called around and found a clinic that would prescribe Antabuse (it took MANY calls) and they got him in within two days. He realizes this is the end. He goes to sessions 3x/week, 3 hours per session. I administer it because it's part of the deal. He can only live with us if he is doing everything in his power to help himself. </p><p></p><p>He has been to AA but is not a huge fan. The religious part does not speak to him. I personally tell him,it doesn't matter, go with the flow, think of something that might be greater than yourself....it doesn't have to be the God you grew up with in Catholic school, or Buddha, or Zeus! Just a higher power.</p><p></p><p>Just like all the stories I read on here, I do fear him living on the streets. He is book smart but totally naive and incredibly lazy. I also think there are underlying issues. He was diagnosed with ADD several years ago, but of course he abused the Adderall...long story. He also has panic attacks and insomnia. It is such a jumbled mess and I don't know how to start pulling it apart to address each need. I know the doctors are working with him, but let's face it...how much time are they really going to devote to one messed-up kid?</p><p></p><p>So please, your thoughts, suggestions, criticisms are ALL welcome!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JoyceM, post: 651061, member: 18852"] Thanks you, fellow moms! Oh, yes I am definitely guilt of enabling. Let me address some questions: As a high schooler, he was a very mediocre student, doing just what was necessary to graduate. Dabbled in pot and alcohol but we never witnessed him drunk or high. He never missed school or obligations, but he was always on the fringe, with some sketchy friends. When he turned 19 he started with the bingeing, which led to disorderly conduct and public intoxication. It has been downhill since then with about a 3 month cycle of bingeing. It got to the point to where I put a Tracker on the car. My husband and I were pulling him out of bars, or chasing him down to give up the keys. We didn't want innocent people hurt. When I think of how many times we told him he was headed for this, ugh, my stomach just turns. At this point though, he denied having a problem... "Everyone drinks" and "people my age only socialize in bars" ...the usual mantra of a young adult alcoholic. He graduated college in May and we thought he finally made it over the hump. Had a quiet spring and summer until July. Binged and made a total ass out of himself on an overnight trip with a family friend's daughter (as friends only-no romance.) Needless to say, my best friend and her family have little to do with us now. At that point he went to IOP#1. Started out well , but had to take a class in the summer so the IOP took a back seat , and it gradually faded away. " They're all there only because it's court ordered" was his way of saying he was too good for it. I begged him To take Antabuse here, but he knew all about the toxicity and basically talked the doctor out of prescribing it. Started school in the fall. Went to class drunk and was summarily dismissed from the program. (Zero tolerance policy in medications). He was devastated and the time and didn't get out of bed for a week. At this point we figured, it's over, he lost his appeal, so we took him into fam biz. He can be a great employee or a horrible employee....you're never quite sure what you're gonna get. He is very good with customers (knows the business, charming, looks good, speaks well) but is much too immature to be counted on, or to ever take it over. Anyway, he started IOP#2. He does the requisite number of weeks and they dismiss him with flying colors. I was shocked. This was a hospital-based IOP but there was no family counseling, very little doctor-patient interaction, etc. Fast forward to January. binged, drives drunk, gets a DUI. Now we are back to all the legal ramifications, financial, etc. He is also trying to get some professional licenses which may be moot with this on his record. I called around and found a clinic that would prescribe Antabuse (it took MANY calls) and they got him in within two days. He realizes this is the end. He goes to sessions 3x/week, 3 hours per session. I administer it because it's part of the deal. He can only live with us if he is doing everything in his power to help himself. He has been to AA but is not a huge fan. The religious part does not speak to him. I personally tell him,it doesn't matter, go with the flow, think of something that might be greater than yourself....it doesn't have to be the God you grew up with in Catholic school, or Buddha, or Zeus! Just a higher power. Just like all the stories I read on here, I do fear him living on the streets. He is book smart but totally naive and incredibly lazy. I also think there are underlying issues. He was diagnosed with ADD several years ago, but of course he abused the Adderall...long story. He also has panic attacks and insomnia. It is such a jumbled mess and I don't know how to start pulling it apart to address each need. I know the doctors are working with him, but let's face it...how much time are they really going to devote to one messed-up kid? So please, your thoughts, suggestions, criticisms are ALL welcome! [/QUOTE]
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