Our 13 year old, who is currently grounded, was able to earn herself a night of "freedom" by keeping up with good behavior, doing a few extra chores around the house, and completing an extra-special project that I asked her to take on. So, she has a friend, we will call her E. E has had a few traumatic experiences in her life as well as my difficult child has. Today was the anniversary of E's dad dying some years ago, and she had asked to spend the day with my difficult child so that she didn't have to be alone. They were going to hang out together during the day, and then E was to come and spend the night at our house with difficult child. Since I had to work today, E and difficult child were told that they would be allowed to go around town and do what they wanted, as long as they checked in every 2 hours until we got home. Well, when we got home, difficult child checked in as she was supposed to, and then I told her to come back again in a couple more hours, because it was about 2 hours until dark. This way they would not be running around in the dark, and if we decided they could stay out longer, we would know for sure what time they should come back. So, two hours later, I get a phone call to check in instead of a visit. This worried me a bit, but I shook it off, because at least we talked and I knew she was okay. Unfortunately, this is where all the problems began. She said they stopped by her boyfriends house (we will call him B), and they wanted to know if they could stay out until 10. I told her that if she was going to be out that late, that she would NOT be able to go running around town, so I told her that it was okay as long as she stayed at his house, and if she left, she had to call first so we could talk about what her new plans would be. So, about 30 minutes later, I got another call, they ran into another friend and she wanted them to come to her house for the night. This other girl is always in serious trouble and is known for having wild drinking and sex parties at her house, unsupervised by any adults, so myself and E's mom both said NO WAY. So, when I asked if she was still at B's house, she said yes. But then called me back again to tell me that she was mistaken, that it wasn't the same girl I was thinking of, it was another girl. (I knew this was a lie, so I still told her no, and that if she came up with other plans, she needed to call me before she left B's house). I had a bad feeling about what was going on, so I decided to hop in my little car and drive to B's house. When I got there, not only was difficult child and E not there, but B wasn't even there. So, very angry now, I call her on her cell and ask her where she is. She INSISTS that she is at B's house, and I tell her I KNOW she isn't there, and ask again where she is. She starts to get angry and curses at me, screaming that she IS at B's house. Then I say that I was just AT B's house and I KNOW she isn't there, and ask again where she is. Then she says that she JUST got there (I was still parked in front of his house), and I again tell her that I know she isn't there because B isn't even there, and ask again where she is. She tells me she doesn't know (great huh?) and after fighting over the phone with her for almost 10 minutes, I finally get an address for the house she has gone to. Then I tell her to stay there, and wait outside for me, I will come to get her. Then she gets upset swearing that they want to just walk home, and I tell her no, I am coming to get her. When they get in the car, I tell her that I am going back to our house, E will go up to difficult child's room, get her things and I am taking her home (she didn't do anything wrong, she had no idea what difficult child was told to do, and she ISN'T the one who lied to me!) and that difficult child is to stay in her room and not come out until I get back. Well, by the time I return, I have managed to straighten out all the details of the girls' adventure, and have discovered several ISSUES of the night. #1, when she called and said she was at B's house and wanted to stay until 10, she had already been at B's house and was told that he was not allowed to have visitors becasue he is grounded too. So she already knew when she agreed to stay at B's until 10 that she could NOT even be there!! #2, the girl she asked to go stay the night with WAS the one that we we thought it was that she isn't allowed to stay with, and #3, I also found out that wasn't even the place they had PLANNED to spend the night anyway, they were just going to SAY that's where they were and then all the girls planned to go someplace else. Here's my dilemma. Since she is already grounded, HOW DOES SHE GET PUNISHED FOR THIS??? I definitely think there should be consequences, as this is NOT the first time this has happened, but getting grounded didn't seem to make an impression last time, or she would not have done it again so quickly. The worst part of it is that, if she had called and said they wanted to be out until 10, but could not go to B's house because he was not allowed visitors, and told me where else they wanted to go instead, it probably would have been okay (except for this one girl who she isn't allowed to go to her house). So why lie about it??? I am done with conventional methods of consequences. There has to be something somewhat extreme that will send a message, and I am fresh out of ideas. I sat down with her and we talked, and I explained to her that I was not trying to be mean or unreasonable, but that it is just very important for me to know where she is in case something happens. She says she gets it, as always, but then the very next time she is let out of the house, it happens again!!!! When we finished talking, I told her that I was going to have to think about what to do about this situation, and that we would talk again tomorrow. If anyone has any ideas, PLEASE HELP!!!