Long night, longer day, prayers needed

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by everywoman, Sep 29, 2008.

  1. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    My old/maid sister (B) called me at 1:30 this morning. Our 13 year old great-niece,A, of whom she has taken custody, tried to kill herself by overdosing.

    My sister is 59. She was married briefly in the early 80's but it failed after 6 months. She is the middle child, but still the baby of the family. She gave up her career and came home when our parents (my biogrands) got sick and took care of them. She tried to go back to teaching, but then had a heart attack from the stress of changes in the system.

    Last June she got custody of my A. This girl's father, our nephew, has been in prison since she was 1. Her mom was killed in a domestic violence attack when she was 5. She had lived with her mother's mother her entire life and the grandmother is not stable.

    This past weekend my sister went to Tenn. for a conference. She now works for Methodist Relief---and A went to stay with my sister/preacher (M) (her other grandmother) and the grandmother she previously lived with. Apparently the other side of the family ganged up on her about how much she had "changed." The grandmother told her she acted too snooty to be around. She wouldn't allow her to go to her bio-brother's 11th birthday party on Sun. She sent her back to preacher/sister's on Saturday and then would not answer any phone calls from A.

    Before they left Columbia, A started crying and told B that she didn't want to be here anymore. B thought she meant Columbia and told her that she didn't have to go visit again if she didn't want. They got home, A went to bed, and then at 1 am woke B up throwing up and crying. She told B that she had taken 9 Tylenol PM and 38 Motrin.

    B took her to the hospital and I met them there. B has never had any bio children, but she taught for years. She feels quilty because she didn't see this coming. She said she had planned to call me today to find out about counselors and what to do before the emergency happened.

    Please pray for them both---for A, for my sisters, for her other family---healing is needed. This child has suffered too much in her young life.
  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending prayers - this is very sad. I just hate to imagine how alone poor A is feeling inside.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Prayers going up. Even without the maternal grandmother being unstable, this child has had too much to cope with in her short life. Fortunately what she did wasn't so serious and won't have lasting effects. Still, this girl needs help fast.

  4. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Sending prayers. It breaks my heart to see a little girl suffer so much.

  5. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Sending prayers. This is heartbreaking.
  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Thanks ladies, we need all the prayers and good thoughts we can get. It is truely sad what can happen to a child born to difficult children!
  7. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    hugs and prayers, so sorry, praying for your grand niece
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry. It is so hard when your child, or someone you love, is in such pain that they don't want to live. It is very good that A came to B and told her what she had done. B NEEDS to remember that that was an act of TRUST on A's part. It is NOT B's fault, she can't predict everything. I am so sorry that you are all hurting so. Saying prayers that A recovers fully and can realize how loved she is and how special and incredible she is. Even if the rest of the family can't see it, A really IS special and wonderful. She had the STRENGTH to TRUST B to take care of her when she was in such a bad place. And that is amazing. Many, many prayers.
  9. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i'm so sorry...

    my thoughts and prayers are with you

  10. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Prayers and good thoughts on the way!!!
  11. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    A is doing much better. B and I are exhausted. I had to teach today as well, between hospital runs and B had some things she had to do at the office. Luckily M came in and sat all day.

    Hospital social worker has been in and dss will file charges against other grandmother for the abuse of A based on what A told social worker. I'm afraid this will get ugly. A's brother still lives in home and we are talking to a brother who wanted to take him this summer to be prepared if dss steps in.

    Again, it it truly sad what some children live with every day.

    Thanks again for your prayers. Hugs to you all. I would not have made it through without you all.
  12. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Adding my prayers that things will smooth out for A. What a mess for that poor child to have to deal with. Very sad. Many hugs to you and to her.
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Adding in my prayers.
  14. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Thinking of you and your family......hoping for a positive outcome for the kids!
  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Still sending prayers.
  16. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    A is an emotional wreck. Her family of origin is just so dysfunctional. Her grandmother got a call from the social worker telling her what had happened. She then called A and told her she was just doing this for attention. She told her that it must have to do with things going on here. A tried to explain she had been upset by the events from her weekend with her other family (including grandmother). She wouldn't hear A. I explained to A in a long conversation last night that she is not repsonsible for healing her grandmother's pain. Her grandmother is not responsible for A's pain. They each need to seek ways to heal themselves and then try to heal the relationship. She listened. She has an appointment. this afternoon at mental health. Sister has an appointment. with an attorney for full legal custody.
  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, I am so sorry.
    I am so glad that "A's" body worked properly to make her throw up the medications. Way To Go.
    I would make sure they have Caller ID so they can screen calls, especially from the grandmother. "A" does not have to deal with-this person. You are right.
    I LOVE that your sister is seeking legal custody. The sooner the better!
    Sending strength ...