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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 721491" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>I think we mothers have an extra "guilt" gene in our dna makeup. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite12" alt="o_O" title="Er... what? o_O" loading="lazy" data-shortname="o_O" /></p><p></p><p>Pasa, you have nothing to feel guilty about at all. Here's the thing, lets just say you did take him to buy some clothes and whatever else he wanted. Who's to say that in a week he would lose those things. I went through this quite a few times with my son. He would lay on the pity party, I would cave and give in. Everything I have ever bought him he has lost, sold or claimed "stolen"</p><p>My son and your son are very similar; no job, no clothes, no money, no friends, etc....... </p><p>These are their choices. As for having friends, my son has complained about that before and I told him to have friends you have to be one. I told him he needs to be a friend to himself first.</p><p></p><p>I know how much it hurts, I've been there too many times!! I know when my son's sentence is done he will reach out wanting me to help him. He's already tried laying the manipulation ground work telling me in letter that when he gets out of jail he'll be homeless. </p><p>I reminded him that he was homeless before he got arrested! <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/wellduh.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":wellduh:" title="wellduh :wellduh:" data-shortname=":wellduh:" />He'll by 37 when he get out.</p><p></p><p>Pasa, we cannot fix our children's lives. No amount of money we give them, or letting them live under our roofs will ever help them. They have to decide for themselves that they want to change the path of their lives.</p><p></p><p>We as parents need to live our own lives. I'm not getting any younger and I'm not going to waste my days worrying about something I have no control over and and cannot change.</p><p></p><p>You have done all you can for your son, now it's time to do for yourself.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 721491, member: 18516"] I think we mothers have an extra "guilt" gene in our dna makeup. o_O Pasa, you have nothing to feel guilty about at all. Here's the thing, lets just say you did take him to buy some clothes and whatever else he wanted. Who's to say that in a week he would lose those things. I went through this quite a few times with my son. He would lay on the pity party, I would cave and give in. Everything I have ever bought him he has lost, sold or claimed "stolen" My son and your son are very similar; no job, no clothes, no money, no friends, etc....... These are their choices. As for having friends, my son has complained about that before and I told him to have friends you have to be one. I told him he needs to be a friend to himself first. I know how much it hurts, I've been there too many times!! I know when my son's sentence is done he will reach out wanting me to help him. He's already tried laying the manipulation ground work telling me in letter that when he gets out of jail he'll be homeless. I reminded him that he was homeless before he got arrested! :wellduh:He'll by 37 when he get out. Pasa, we cannot fix our children's lives. No amount of money we give them, or letting them live under our roofs will ever help them. They have to decide for themselves that they want to change the path of their lives. We as parents need to live our own lives. I'm not getting any younger and I'm not going to waste my days worrying about something I have no control over and and cannot change. You have done all you can for your son, now it's time to do for yourself. ((HUGS)) [/QUOTE]
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