I am at the end of the road with my son who is ADHD & ODD. I had to go to the seen of vehicle accident where he was a passenger last night with his blowing .10 on a breathalizer on the scene. The door is closing as I know he is fast approaching 18 in one month and so many days. If he dies out there, I know I have done everything I can. I have had no support, no friends and no family to lean on all these years. Now the system tells me I have to protect myself and take care of myself. I am having a hard time with that one today and making some tough love decisions. I can't find the place where it all went wrong because I keep telling myself that I have to remember he still was there with a choice. When he said he hated me and wished I was dead, I went stone cold. You can't fight that kind of narcissism. I did the best I could do as his parent and I was the only real base he ever had place to touch base with. My heart just hurts today that is all. I already know what must be done and no amount words can comfort it. It just is.