looking for mom's who understand my situation

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by shellyd67, Nov 20, 2008.

  1. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    I am a newbie to the forum. at my wit's end with my 8 year old. We are in therapy trying to work things out. Looking for advice, ideas, anything that works for your child/family.:D
  2. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Well welcome! Hopefully one of us here can understand at the least we can offer support! :)

    Tell us more about your situation. Any diagnosis's, family history, medications, concerns... What brought you here?
    We would like to get to know you!
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi and welcome :)

    This is a great place, it truly is!! You may want to add a signature at the bottom of your thingy like we have so we can get to know you better.

    welcome again!!
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Welcome, Shelly! Please let us know more about your situation.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hi and Welcome! I am sorry you are having such problems. Can you tell us a bit more about hte situation?

    What problems are you having? What doctors and therapists are you seeing and what testing has been done? How is the situation at school?

    I am sure there is lots of support and understanding for you here. Glad you found us.
  6. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    Shelleyd67...how do you do? I am new to this site too. My son is older, a teen, and I am really glade that you are in therapy and looking around for the ideas you need to sift through on your journey! What works is giving your loving attention and sheparding your child through as if you were the omnipitant know all that our children think we are. EVen admitting you do not know works because if you assure them you will find the answer then at least for them there is hope. And there are answers and there are so many people who have loads of exsperiances that, though not your own, will enhance your confidence by their foot prints all around whatever you are challenged by.
    Read together alot...is what worked for my child and I. It was a time together, it was constructive, it fit everywhere, it soothed through more troubled times than anything else. We did it for hours everyday through the day. 45minutes here...20 minutes there... and in the evenings. You read to him...let him relax and absorb. Since you asked...that is the idea
    I have for any parent.
    Look forward to knowing more about your situation. I understand being a Mom and in therapy and at the wits end...that is where you will find me too. Just beyond the wits end, actually. It is kind of crowded over here.
  7. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    To enhance what Ropefree said - working WITH your child works a lot better than constantly knocking heads together. Your child will value your efforts if he can see that you are trying to help and support him. Too often we try to be the disciplinarian at all costs and forget to look into WHY your child is behaving the way he is. Generally there is a reason and knowing this can make your job as a parent easier.

    A book we recommend a lot here (there are a few) is "The explosive Child" by Ross Greene. There is some discussion on this book in Early Childhood, plus a lot of us talk about it in various threads, so read up through the files and pick and choose what feels possibly helpful.

    As Ropefree said, we work as a collective; between us we have centuries (millennia?) of experience and your experiences also will be helpful to someone.

    Communication is a good start. Finding what positively motivates him is also a good start. Finding what upsets him and helping him avoid it is taking you even further down the road to helping him.

    Welcome. Sorry you need us, glad we're here.

  8. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Adding my welcome as well! We do need to know a little more about your situation. Click on the "User CP" link at the top left of the page and complete a member signature. That way we not only know your name, but we know more about your difficult child, diagnosis and medication history, home eniornment, etc. It's helpful when offering suggestions or advice to know the whole picture.

    Look forward to hearing more and having you join us on the site.

  9. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Another adding my welcome. The more information you can offer the more suggestions this wonderful group of parents may be able to offer you.

    Again welcome!
  10. luvmyottb

    luvmyottb Guest

    Adding my welcome. We would like to know more about you and your child's situation. You have found a supportive place to vent. :D
  11. Mandy

    Mandy Parent In Training

    Welcome!! I agree the Explosive Child is a great book, I just finished reading it and am now making my husband start:D
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there :)
    Frankly, we need more info to give suggestions. Can you do a signature like I did below? Tell us about your child's early development--speech, eye contact with strangers, social ability with peers, pottying, any obsessions, did he play well with toys, etc.
    Any psychiatric problems on either side of the family tree? Substance abuse? Any neuropsychologist evaluations (these are really good). "The Explosive Child" is a good book to hold you until you get the right diagnosis. and a treatment plan that is working.
    Tell us more.
  13. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Welcome to our little corner of the world! While I'm sorry you have difficulties with your child that brought you here, I hope you'll find it a cozy place to be.

    I look forward to reading a little more about you and yours. I am dealing with a very challenging 6 year old (and he is round 2 - his difficult child older brother is 19) so I'm pretty close to where you are!

  14. Woofens

    Woofens New Member

    Adding my welcome.. I'm the mom of an almost 7 year old difficult child, and I'm on "Round 2" also (really liked that phrase :) ) My oldest difficult child just turned 18, and my SO has a 26 yr old difficult child.

  15. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    Adding my hi! :bigsmile: Let us know what's happening in your corner of the world, as much background and info as you want to share, and we'll offer as much advice and shoulder to lean on as we're able.

    Welcome to the site :flowers:
  16. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I love it when Chelle sends flowers - SO cute!

    Welcome to the site - and NOW YOU KNOW - you are not alone.

    Waiting to hear a little more about you and your son.

    GLAD YOU ARE HERE.....HEAR? HERE....ugh - too tired to spell check

    HERE - there.....lol

  17. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    hi and welcome!! I'm still fairly new here and have to say this place is fantastic!!! My difficult child is 11 and we've been thru a lot. Hope to see you around :)
  18. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi Shelly, welcome.

    I, too, recommend The Explosive Child.

    I would also suggest that you read through some of the older notes (there are pages and pages) and get some idea of what other parents have done with-their kids. Then you can give us specifics on your 8-yr-old, such as whether you have a diagnosis, whether your child is on grade level, if your child has tantrums, wets the bed, gets in trouble at school.

    Nice to meet you.