I am so glad to have found this forum. I randomly googled 'son going to jail' and found you. I have been reading some posts for a few days and they have been very helpful, so thank you all so much. So sad that we have to have a forum like this. I am looking for some hope for peace for me and a turn-around for my son. He turned 19 yesterday. He has been in trouble off and on since he was 10 years old: intimidation, threats, suspension from school, fleeing from the police in a car when he didn't even have a learner's permit (subsequently hitting a tree head on and totally the vehicle), shoplifting, multiple traffic violations, wrecked another car, had an under-aged drinking party while I was out of town that was advertised on social media (multiple people he didn't even know showed up), and now - felony theft. He stole $7300 from his employer and was arrested last month. I just found out last week, meaning he hid it for a month. He bonded himself out. He was arraigned today and has a pre-indictment hearing tomorrow. I don't know what all of that means, but I am learning. After I found out about the arrest inadvertently, he was angry and threatening and ultimately I took out a restraining order. That further angered him. In my state I couldn't kick him out without going through the whole eviction process, but I could get a restraining order. When he left he said it was the last time I would ever see him. After the arraignment today, I don't know if he was taken to jail or if he is staying in the hotel his father has been paying for. (His father lives in another state). He has said he is going to live with his dad. I guess I just don't know what to think about all of this. I mean, this kid had it all. Free college education, nice home, food, car. Totally set up for success and he has pi**ed it all away. I am torn between accepting what it is and leaving him alone to figure it out for himself and wanting to help my little boy. I know he isn't still a little boy, but in my heart he still is. I also know that ultimately, in the long run, it would not help him to rescue him. Detaching is so hard. I feel like I'm abandoning him. He seems to not believe I love him unless I am helping him. I don't want him to think I don't love him. I sent him a text message to wish him happy birthday yesterday and he told me not to contact him anymore. Ugh! This is so hard. Such anguish. I never thought I'd find myself in this situation, but here I am. Does it get easier? Sorry for the rambling. Thank you for reading.