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Looks like a divorce is oncoming
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<blockquote data-quote="dstc_99" data-source="post: 692201" data-attributes="member: 15473"><p>I agree. I think what you put in is what you get out. A 22yr old guy who has a bunch of military buddies who drink excessively + a 20 year old girl who has control issues and anger issues = unhealthy. She has used all kinds of manipulation to keep men before (choking, pregnancy scares) but I think she met her match with this one. This one has some specialized training and therefore doesn't manipulate well but apparently doesn't handle his liquor well either.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>While I would normally agree with this. I promised his parents I would take care of him as my own. We live on the other side of the country from them. He has no support here other than his military unit. Honestly I don't think he is a horrible person. He is a person who needs some help. His unit won't get it for him because it's not the "Strong" thing to do. It makes the unit look weak if their Soldier is broken. Stupid but that is truly the reason so many Soldiers are so far gone they commit suicide. Weakness in any form is not acceptable. He needs someone outside his unit to step up and make sure he gets some help. I am asking my husband to do that since he is military as well and understands that "culture" crap that non military personnel don't.</p><p></p><p>I am not encouraging her to go back with him however I have suggested that she and he possibly seek counseling. Even if this marriage is doomed I personally think it is best to learn from our mistakes, apologize, forgive, and move on. In a safe way of course.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>From what I can tell his group of military friends is very similar. There was an issue with one of the groomsmen at the wedding and Tay says that every party they attend ends the same way. Everyone is smashed and at least one couple winds up in a major fight. They apparently are all young and seem to be feeding off the stupidity.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is part of why I am the evil mom. I didn't just say "oh he is a monster" and "you did nothing wrong." He lived with us for almost 6 months. I know he isn't a monster when he is sober. On the other hand I also know she is manipulative and that can cause extreme stress to the people around her. None of which I ever suggest was an excuse. It isn't! </p><p></p><p>I suggested counseling but she says she's fine but he needs it. I told her anyone leaving an abusive relationship should seek counseling for their own emotional support. Personally I think he needs AA and to get himself sober and she needs to get her anger/manipulation issues under control. I don't care if they do that together or apart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dstc_99, post: 692201, member: 15473"] I agree. I think what you put in is what you get out. A 22yr old guy who has a bunch of military buddies who drink excessively + a 20 year old girl who has control issues and anger issues = unhealthy. She has used all kinds of manipulation to keep men before (choking, pregnancy scares) but I think she met her match with this one. This one has some specialized training and therefore doesn't manipulate well but apparently doesn't handle his liquor well either. While I would normally agree with this. I promised his parents I would take care of him as my own. We live on the other side of the country from them. He has no support here other than his military unit. Honestly I don't think he is a horrible person. He is a person who needs some help. His unit won't get it for him because it's not the "Strong" thing to do. It makes the unit look weak if their Soldier is broken. Stupid but that is truly the reason so many Soldiers are so far gone they commit suicide. Weakness in any form is not acceptable. He needs someone outside his unit to step up and make sure he gets some help. I am asking my husband to do that since he is military as well and understands that "culture" crap that non military personnel don't. I am not encouraging her to go back with him however I have suggested that she and he possibly seek counseling. Even if this marriage is doomed I personally think it is best to learn from our mistakes, apologize, forgive, and move on. In a safe way of course. From what I can tell his group of military friends is very similar. There was an issue with one of the groomsmen at the wedding and Tay says that every party they attend ends the same way. Everyone is smashed and at least one couple winds up in a major fight. They apparently are all young and seem to be feeding off the stupidity. This is part of why I am the evil mom. I didn't just say "oh he is a monster" and "you did nothing wrong." He lived with us for almost 6 months. I know he isn't a monster when he is sober. On the other hand I also know she is manipulative and that can cause extreme stress to the people around her. None of which I ever suggest was an excuse. It isn't! I suggested counseling but she says she's fine but he needs it. I told her anyone leaving an abusive relationship should seek counseling for their own emotional support. Personally I think he needs AA and to get himself sober and she needs to get her anger/manipulation issues under control. I don't care if they do that together or apart. [/QUOTE]
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