Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Looks like he'll be getting an apartment
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 72324" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>Do you know who you will see if you find it necessary to use an attorney, Karen?</p><p></p><p>Once you know that, all it takes is a phone call to begin the process.</p><p></p><p>It is a 27 year marriage. You both have been through alot with difficult child, and there is no way of telling what effect that had on either of you. </p><p></p><p>Are you willing to undergo marital counseling with husband before you call it quits? </p><p></p><p>(Just as an aside? The three lesbians in the bar thing sounds a little too much like the used car salesman telling the prospective buyer that the car has only been driven by a one-legged Sunday school teacher on her way to church.)</p><p></p><p>The thing is that marriage is about so much more than sex. Men will often act out sexually because that is where they view everything from (sorry to any men out there). And it truly, literally, means nothing ~ until they see the other woman often enough to actually get to know her, in addition to having sex with her. </p><p></p><p>When things have come to this point, especially with everything else the two of you have been through, I think you need to give the marriage the benefit of the doubt and make every effort to save it. </p><p></p><p>Whatever husband has been doing with his genitalia is less important than what he has been doing with the rest of him. Why HAS husband left you alone during this time? Did he come to feel ineffectual as you both went through dealing with difficult child? </p><p></p><p>Have you stopped seeing husband as someone who can save a situation, step up to the plate and be a man, through what has happened with your difficult child?</p><p></p><p>husband and I are still going through the underlying emotions ~ the things that were stuffed away so we could deal with whatever the current crisis was with our difficult child. The most harmful thing that happened to either of us as we went through those times is that the who we thought the other guy was got tarnished.</p><p></p><p>We were like two old horses pulling an old wagon.</p><p></p><p>Once the kids were out of the wagon, we looked across and saw nothing but that other, same old horse who had been there through all those bad, long nights of pulling a wagon we never wanted to be hitched up to to begin with.</p><p></p><p>It hasn't been easy for husband and I. We were nearly divorced, this summer. We may still not make it. It is just too hard to see the person I went through such horrible things with as the person who can accompany me now, when I no longer want to be that same, desperate person I was when I was trying to save difficult child.</p><p></p><p>But our marriages, and our husbands, DO deserve for us to be certain that, somewhere in there, the husband we have been sleeping with all these years is still the one man in all the world who is strong enough, and wonderful enough, to bring us back.</p><p></p><p>We are in a holding pattern, at my house.</p><p></p><p>Try it.</p><p></p><p>Try one more time.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 72324, member: 1721"] Do you know who you will see if you find it necessary to use an attorney, Karen? Once you know that, all it takes is a phone call to begin the process. It is a 27 year marriage. You both have been through alot with difficult child, and there is no way of telling what effect that had on either of you. Are you willing to undergo marital counseling with husband before you call it quits? (Just as an aside? The three lesbians in the bar thing sounds a little too much like the used car salesman telling the prospective buyer that the car has only been driven by a one-legged Sunday school teacher on her way to church.) The thing is that marriage is about so much more than sex. Men will often act out sexually because that is where they view everything from (sorry to any men out there). And it truly, literally, means nothing ~ until they see the other woman often enough to actually get to know her, in addition to having sex with her. When things have come to this point, especially with everything else the two of you have been through, I think you need to give the marriage the benefit of the doubt and make every effort to save it. Whatever husband has been doing with his genitalia is less important than what he has been doing with the rest of him. Why HAS husband left you alone during this time? Did he come to feel ineffectual as you both went through dealing with difficult child? Have you stopped seeing husband as someone who can save a situation, step up to the plate and be a man, through what has happened with your difficult child? husband and I are still going through the underlying emotions ~ the things that were stuffed away so we could deal with whatever the current crisis was with our difficult child. The most harmful thing that happened to either of us as we went through those times is that the who we thought the other guy was got tarnished. We were like two old horses pulling an old wagon. Once the kids were out of the wagon, we looked across and saw nothing but that other, same old horse who had been there through all those bad, long nights of pulling a wagon we never wanted to be hitched up to to begin with. It hasn't been easy for husband and I. We were nearly divorced, this summer. We may still not make it. It is just too hard to see the person I went through such horrible things with as the person who can accompany me now, when I no longer want to be that same, desperate person I was when I was trying to save difficult child. But our marriages, and our husbands, DO deserve for us to be certain that, somewhere in there, the husband we have been sleeping with all these years is still the one man in all the world who is strong enough, and wonderful enough, to bring us back. We are in a holding pattern, at my house. Try it. Try one more time. Barbara [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Looks like he'll be getting an apartment
Top