Lord O' Mercy Why Do They Do This Crud?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Oct 31, 2013.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    No. It's not Katie this time.

    This time it is my great neice A who up until the age of 18-19 was a true blue easy child......straight A student, ROTC, polite, sweet, really super good kid with big dreams......who could've made those dreams come true. This child joined the Army and next thing we know......full blown difficult child to the hilt, completely opposite personality. Seriously. I have trouble believing it is the same girl.

    A goes through husbands (at least she marries them??) rather rapidly, each one worse than the one before. Current husband seriously looks 12 yrs old, acts about that age as well. She has 3 very small children and I've just been told is preggers with number 4. (not surprised) Now A and my other great niece S were preggers together last time and due right at the same time. Unfortunately S's lil man was still born. A's baby boy was born with health issues to say the least and spent a long time in the NICU with them not knowing if he'd make it either. It "appeared" to snap A out of her gfgdom for quite a while. Baby made it but is still special needs.

    So now, I'm friends with my great nieces on fb. It's an easy way to keep in touch with Fred's side of the family so we can stay "close". Quite a long time back I blocked A's posts because to put it simply.....they made me want to puke. I discovered I'm not the only one who has her blocked so we don't have to see the posts. I can still check up on her, I just don't have to see all that junk on my page all the time. The only one of Fred's family still living in state is S who lives about 10 miles from me in a small town. I see on S's page she posted she was cooking dinner with A. I thought that rather strange, but S has been talking about seeing her family (who are in virginia) and so I thought I just missed a post where she'd gone to visit........

    Uh, no. Seems A just decided to show up on S's doorstep, boy/man husband and 3 little ones in tow.....hungry, broke, and nowhere to stay. S is a sweetheart and huge on family. I wasn't surprised to find out this morning she let them stay. Now she is in deep trouble with her landlord and they have to be gone by monday or S will find herself homeless. ugh

    Soooooooooo in typical difficult child fashion, A is messaging myself, easy child and Nichole hoping we'll let them stay under the guise of wanting help on how to find shelters.......while shooting down all shelter options. Uh, sorry. been there done that with Katie, doesn't work with us. lol easy child shot her down. Currently nichole and I are ignoring her because easy child already gave her all the info we'd have given her.

    S also messaged easy child and told her NOT to let A stay with her because she is NOT the person easy child would remember. She is major "crazy" and she will be relieved when she is out of her home on monday,. Yes, S is a good girl. I know it hurt her to have to say that about A because they've always been close. And it goes against her morals to put innocent babies onto the street.

    I know A is a major alcoholic but I'm also certain major drugs are involved due to her off the wall (to put it mildly) behavior.

    I told easy child to tell S to contact cps the moment A leaves her home with the babies and report them as homeless with nowhere to go. Not to be mean but to get those babies off the street and out of that situation and hopefully with their grandmother in virginia. A's mother is living her own hades on earth with this child......will not enable her but leaves the door open only for the sake of the grands. Breaks my heart. I know about much of this situation simply because I went through it with Katie and sister in law came to me for advice to give A's mom.....and she knew I'd understand and not judge. (it also made that whole side of the family rethink the Katie situation and realize I was NOT the bad guy)

    I will likely leave A's message unanswered. She will not come here. I'll warn Travis today not to answer the door to her and to let the dogs scare the crud out of them. If that is not enough....well, there is the shot gun. They won't know it's not loaded. (I have no idea of how desperate they might be)

    Goes against everything I believe too. But in this situation, it's about all one can do. :( If it were just A wanting to turn her life around......my door (and every other in the family) would be open and we'd do all we could to help her. She just has to get to that point.
  2. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Hound, I hope they leave S's house by Monday. I hope they don't just hunker down and refuse to be put out. Poor S, and poor little ones. Sometimes, the old cliché of "no good deed goes unpunished" is really true.
  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I hope they do leave S's... Ugh. You're right, I know you hate to but she makes Katie sound like an angel. :sigh:
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I hope she leaves on monday too. Otherwise I'm going to have to counsel S on how to force her to leave.

    She doesn't quite make Katie look like an angel so much...........there is much Katie has done that I am aware of, some I just can't prove, and some I'm pretty darn sure of but truly just don't want to know at this point.

    I had so hoped A would be able to turn it around after the last baby was born because we saw so much progress. But if she is still with boy/man (sorry I look at him and just crack up, I can't help it) there is no way that is happening.

    A is just a year older than Nichole. So I keep praying there is still time for her to change.