Thanks for your words, I decided to be different with him starting today too. He resisted me being home working, but then before he left for his counselor appointment we took a nice walk with the dog. Short yes, but I expressed to him that in order to change, he needs to look at things from a new angle. I hope and pray that we can get him to turn around now/quickly as I think he has hit some sort of bottom. He had a near nervous breakdown yesterday when I discovered what he had done. I am going to look for someone to talk with too, but with working full time and then trying to juggle being here for him when he's home, I am not sure where to even find the time to start! Plus I am paying out of pocket for him as it is, so expensive.
It sounds like you've been through the mill. Ouch. And you are so right about boundaries. That's my weak area for sure. His father said I should have had him arrested, but I didn't want to do that to him and further sabotage his potential for change and a better future. Maybe that would have a good move, I don't know. What do you think?
My son has a great girlfriend who is clean and good and smart (good family, A student) and another friend that is going to college on a full ride, those are the kinds of people I do want him around.
Where is your son now? I have a 25 year old who is doing great. He is not mine biologically, but I raised him too. His mom left him when he was 5 and then when his dad and I divorced we both knew he needed to stay with me.
His father, and the father of my troubled son, is a recovered alcoholic. He had his "break" in front of my troubled son when he was 14. He witnessed complete rage and a bad mix of drugs and alcohol, including the smashing of my furniture and had to scream at his own Dad to get him out of the house. It was terrible. They have almost no relationship at this point. And my son is not close to his older brother, he finds him too judgmental (he sort of is).
Needless to say, we are a mess and trying to figure out how to be whole again. I will remain in a place of love and hope, because I don't know how else to be. Denial anyone? Thx.