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Losing my Mind
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 727895" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Hi and Welcome! I am sorry that you have to deal with such a difficult child. I know how hard it is. </p><p></p><p>I have to say that you need to NOT ever let her drive that car or any car of yours again. She can walk or get a ride. You have to KNOW that she is driving while high or drunk and that is probably why she was eluding the cops. You let her have a lethal weapon of many pounds to drive around in while drunk or high. I know you were not thinking of it in those terms, but that is what a car is, a lethal weapon. Your daughter is going to hurt or maim someone or some family if you give her that car. </p><p></p><p>I realize you said you would give her the car. If I were you, I would tell her that her behavior has shown that she is not responsible enough to drive, much less own a car. She cannot handle the responsibility of driving safely, so her punishment from you is that she will not get the car ever. If she needs to drive she can get a JOB and earn her own money to pay her own insurance and gas and buy her own car. THen stick to that.</p><p></p><p>I know it is HARD, super hard to stick to things like this. You may have to even sell the car or disable it by taking parts off it so it won't operate (fuses are usually easy to locate and to figure out which will keep it from running). Then you have to listen to her. Let her move out when she is 18. She won't follow house rules and she will set a truly bad example for her siblings. </p><p></p><p>The article on detachment on the Parent Emeritus forum near the top of the page that lists the threads is a big help. I know none of this is fun or easy, but it is what your daughter may need. She has lessons to learn in this life, and one of them needs to be that drinking or using drugs and driving simply do not go together under any circumstances. You may also find help and strength from going to AlAnon meetings. They truly are helpful to many parents and families of loved ones with problems with alcohol or substance abuse. </p><p></p><p>Please don't ever again give your daughter control of a 1000-2000 pound weapon to aim at unsuspecting drivers on the roads. No one in your community has done anything to you to deserve that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 727895, member: 1233"] Hi and Welcome! I am sorry that you have to deal with such a difficult child. I know how hard it is. I have to say that you need to NOT ever let her drive that car or any car of yours again. She can walk or get a ride. You have to KNOW that she is driving while high or drunk and that is probably why she was eluding the cops. You let her have a lethal weapon of many pounds to drive around in while drunk or high. I know you were not thinking of it in those terms, but that is what a car is, a lethal weapon. Your daughter is going to hurt or maim someone or some family if you give her that car. I realize you said you would give her the car. If I were you, I would tell her that her behavior has shown that she is not responsible enough to drive, much less own a car. She cannot handle the responsibility of driving safely, so her punishment from you is that she will not get the car ever. If she needs to drive she can get a JOB and earn her own money to pay her own insurance and gas and buy her own car. THen stick to that. I know it is HARD, super hard to stick to things like this. You may have to even sell the car or disable it by taking parts off it so it won't operate (fuses are usually easy to locate and to figure out which will keep it from running). Then you have to listen to her. Let her move out when she is 18. She won't follow house rules and she will set a truly bad example for her siblings. The article on detachment on the Parent Emeritus forum near the top of the page that lists the threads is a big help. I know none of this is fun or easy, but it is what your daughter may need. She has lessons to learn in this life, and one of them needs to be that drinking or using drugs and driving simply do not go together under any circumstances. You may also find help and strength from going to AlAnon meetings. They truly are helpful to many parents and families of loved ones with problems with alcohol or substance abuse. Please don't ever again give your daughter control of a 1000-2000 pound weapon to aim at unsuspecting drivers on the roads. No one in your community has done anything to you to deserve that. [/QUOTE]
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