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Parent Emeritus
Loss of hope, mostly venting
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 753695" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>I’m so glad to hear you have God in your life. We have to remember this battle is not for us alone to handle. He will give you the courage, strength and healing you need. </p><p></p><p>I learned in Al anon that I too got “sick” from years of living with the insanity of it all. What I’ve learned is it will take time for me to get better too. We can’t think even in a day, week, month and or a year that we will be all better. (As we say in Al anon no one graduates from it) We can only hope that day by day putting work into our own healing, that after awhile we’ll notice good healthy changes in ourselves so that we don’t feel it our obligation as parents, of our adult children, who continue to make poor choice after poor choice, to deny ourselves of peace and happiness because we feel we should also be miserable, hurting and suffering like them. </p><p></p><p>There’s no logic in that but I think it’s more of an internal parent mindset we have. </p><p></p><p>I thought (and am still working on this) that I should not be living my life to the fullest. That I should deny myself feeling moments of joy and laughter and should constantly be fearing what poor circumstances my sons might be in now. </p><p>I'm realizing that’s a sure bet for sickness and depression and I don’t want that for me. </p><p>I must learn to value myself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 753695, member: 23405"] I’m so glad to hear you have God in your life. We have to remember this battle is not for us alone to handle. He will give you the courage, strength and healing you need. I learned in Al anon that I too got “sick” from years of living with the insanity of it all. What I’ve learned is it will take time for me to get better too. We can’t think even in a day, week, month and or a year that we will be all better. (As we say in Al anon no one graduates from it) We can only hope that day by day putting work into our own healing, that after awhile we’ll notice good healthy changes in ourselves so that we don’t feel it our obligation as parents, of our adult children, who continue to make poor choice after poor choice, to deny ourselves of peace and happiness because we feel we should also be miserable, hurting and suffering like them. There’s no logic in that but I think it’s more of an internal parent mindset we have. I thought (and am still working on this) that I should not be living my life to the fullest. That I should deny myself feeling moments of joy and laughter and should constantly be fearing what poor circumstances my sons might be in now. I'm realizing that’s a sure bet for sickness and depression and I don’t want that for me. I must learn to value myself. [/QUOTE]
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Loss of hope, mostly venting
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