Hello everyone, This may be unusual, as I am not the parent of a troubled person- I am the stepsister to one. I am here to look for answers so that I can help my parents (father and step-mother) make healthy and constructive decisions when it comes to my stepbrother "SB" from here on in.. I hope someone here can give me some insight. This is long, so bear with me. Some bg- I am 33, married and have a sister- 30, married. Stepbrother is 24, living at home with my father and stepmom, in and out of jail, addicted to god knows what. When he was little, SB was diagnosed ADHD. Was on and off medications, but they never really did anything. He was adopted, and I don't think they know anything about his biological mother - but considering many factors, it would not be outlandish to think that his real mother may have been a drug addict when she was pregnant. He failed out of HS, went to a special school, kicked out of that. Got his GED last year. He has never been able to hold down a job without getting fired. He never expresses emotion- EVER. Only anger. He steals... a LOT.... from anyone and everyone. Stole thousands of dollars that my father was saving for my wedding. Stole from him multiple times since then- the most recent being a few months ago when he broke a window, went into the house and stole thousands more that he found in a locked hiding place. He has stolen cars, money from very good friends of my parents. He does drugs, but I don't know which ones exactly. When he was younger, he was in danger of going to Juvenile Hall for a bunch of offenses, but my parents convinced the judge to send him to a rehab/bootcamp program for troubled teens. Did absolutely nothing for him, cost my parents thousands and he throws that in my father's face to this day, saying he would have been successful in life but that "someone" made him go to a rehab program. My parents had him seen by a very respected and well known psychoanalyst who told my parents they would be wasting their money- the kid wont talk and he can't be helped until he will talk with someone. My father has never reported any of the times he has broken into the house and stolen money. Someone recently caught him on tape stealing and DID press charges, but the courts gave him PTI, so all he has to do is pay back the money in installments and check in with probation, and he is record-free. Before he got arrested for that offense (never showed up to court dates, so they issued a warrant), he told my parents he had warrants out and it would cost him $600 to pay his bail. Of course my parents gave it to him, and he took the money and used it on a hotel for himself and his girlfriend. He was arrested shortly after that for speeding and driving without a license (I don't think he has ever even had a license, but has been pulled over so many times for speeding and driving without one, that I don't think he will ever be able to get one). SB sat in jail for a week, and then of course my parents went and paid ANOTHER $600 to bail him out. When my father asked SB how county jail was, he seemed to think it was not so bad, and even pretty cool. I think that SB has antisocial personality disorder. My father firmly believes that SB has mental issues, but won't bring it up to my stepmother, because she gets upset and shuts down completely when confronted with something she does not like. A few weeks ago, SB threatened to stab his adopted father. He has been in and out of my father's house, but now that he has nowhere to go and has run out of the money he stole, he is living at home again. I have a sister with a toddler- she and her husband want nothing to do with SB. My husband and I want nothing to do with SB. I want my parents to let him go- tell him to make his own life now, but they refuse. My father told me that he would rather live with the torment of having him home than live with the guilt of kicking him out and then SB possibly killing himself (which he has apparently mentioned a few times). I don't know what to do! My parents are ready to retire, but they won't. Stepmother says it's because she doesn't want to stop working, but I honestly feel that SB is the bigger reason. Neither of my parents are in excellent health (diabetes and heart issues), and I worry about them constantly. I worry about this kid coming into their room one night and shooting them. I worry about my father having a heart attack. SB has no regard for anyone, no remorse and I think that he has the potential to be violent. We have all spoken to my father about this, but he is adamant that it is his job to "give him the best shot at a life that he can get". What I want to know is- when is enough enough? I don't know if my parents need some kind of intervention to help them out of this mess they are tangled up in. SB has manipulated them to the point that he knows he has them wrapped around his finger. I have never known my dad to be so clouded in his judgment- it's like he has been brainwashed. I think he does it more to keep my stepmother from freaking out than anything else. She is very sensitive, and a wonderful person- but she has enabled him his whole life. I feel so terrified, depressed about it and I don't know what to do. I don't have children yet, so maybe it's harder for me to understand..... I don't know. We all tiptoe around the topic so as to not make stepmom cry, but it has gotten to the point where we are all going nuts. We have a family vacation planned, and my husband along with sister's husband have already said they do not want us all going on the vacation if SB comes along. I don't have the heart to tell my father, as he really looks forward to these vacations, and so do we. Can I have your thoughts on the situation? Am I being unreasonable? Should I just keep my nose out of it and let my father do what he feels he has to? Help!