Should I get a lawyer? Don't really have the additional funds, but don't want to be made a fool of in court either. Not sure what to do. My daughter used to talk with her dad. Since I received the paperwork last Tuesday, one week ago, she has not responded to my husband either. He has been trying to meet with her or get her to text/call her back. So not like her. She always responded to dad because she knew he hated me too and they shared a common bond. She even went as far to tell him in her last text a week ago when he asked to meet that she felt everyone turned their back on her and sided with me. So untrue, her dad has always sided with her, even with the courtcase, thinks Bozo has a right to go after me if I tried to mess with his job, which I did not. He can't prove I did, and unfortunately, I can't prove I did not. But my daughter believes I did and hates me even more now than ever. She tells everyone she wishes I was dead, and the sad awful truth is that she means it. Her younger sister, 17, had been in touch with her every now and then, however, when she posted on her facebook how much she hated me and bragged about how good it felt to punch me in the face, and then said, "the ***** has been served" let the games begin and proceeded to tell everyone her version of why she is right and just to treat me as she does. When my son, 24, and my daughter 17, saw how she portrayed our family and how she publicly treated me, well neither her brother or sister think she was right in that and told her so. The end result is that she is not speaking to her brother or sister either. Trust me, I have seen the hatred in her eyes for me. So has my kids and my husband. I don't think we will ever have a chance and that's the part I fear the most....knowing that I love her more than anything and I always had her best interests at heart, and still I'm treated like evil.
My husband and I are simply living together at the moment. We are trying to sell our house with no luck at all. Finances are tough. Between our finances and the situation with my daughter, it has made our marriage worsen because it was never the strongest marriage in the first place. I feel alone and surrounded by people who despise me. I went to my husband many times in the last few weeks, asked if he thought we could try to work on our marriage, attend counseling, etc. and he said absolutely not it was way too late and that he didn't love me anymore. That we should have gotten out of this marriage when the kids were younger, but we both stayed because we thought we were doing what was best for our children. My daughter resents her dad for staying with me all these years and not putting me to the curb. She is angry with him for not kicking ME out of the house so that she could still live here. You have no idea how unloved I feel. If I had somewhere else to go or stay, i would, but I simply don't have anywhere to live. And it doesn't look like our house is going anywhere soon in this market. We don't even get any showings.
So my life is nothing but a mess and I spend my entire days crying. Thank God for my job; it forces me to think about other things for at least a portion of the day, but my failed marriage, my estrangement with my daughter, is always in the back of my mind and more than I can bear most days. My youngest daughter thinks I'm pathetic in the fact that I cry so much about Britt. She says she's gone just get over it. No one understands the heart of a mother. To know my daughter hates me the way she does and wishes me dead as the only way to find peace in her life hurts like nothing else in this world ever could. Maybe I did ruin her. Maybe it is all my fault. I know all of you will say that I can't change what has happened in the past and I can only move forward, but move forward to what? My son is 24, doesn't even want to discuss his sister or what hurts me. Same for my 17 year old daughter. She has her own life, her own friends. I really don't fit in with anyone and seem to be nothing but a nuisance to my entire family. So what do I move forward to? I don't have extra money to do anything at all. The house, bills, etc. doesn't leave much for anything; in fact most months I'm short on cash. I just feel really down because I don't see one bright thing in my present or my future right now.
I worry that my daughter has lost contact with everyone in her family now and that this court fiasco has really drawn a line in the sand. She has made her position known loud and clear. She has chosen sides and has no intention of having anything to do with me ever again. She has told my sister that, and my sister is just like my daughter. Claims my mom abused her as a child; blamed everything that went wrong in her life on my mom. When my Mom had Alzheimers, my sister used to start fights with her and cause nothing but problems for her. It's safe to say that she hated my mom til the day she died,although she tried to pretend to be there in the end, and says she loves her, trust me she's just like my daughter. Ironically, they are born under the same zodiac sign if any of you believe in that stuff.
Anyway, I used to have hope. Hope that we'd reconcile and be close. Hope that we could laugh about all of this one day. But I don't see that in my future with her. I see me, sad and lonely with my kids all grown up and not wanting to be around me. I don't feel I was a bad mom. Maybe I yelled more than I should have, didn't have the patience I should have, but I sacrificed everything for my children. I was involved in their school, helped them with homework, sports, etc. made Christmas, bdays, holidays special. They were my life and I only wanted the best for them. Even now if my daughter is happier and better off without me, then it is what it is. But I can't just pretend it doesnt hurt and there isn't any magic pill or doctor that can talk me out of the way I feel. Sure, if I had additional resources, I could get a small place of my own, take vacations and time just for me, do things I enjoy...in a perfect world things would be so much simpler.
I know noone knows the future and no one has a crystal ball, but with everything I've told you here in all these posts, and the way my daughter treats me and talks about me and hates me and hits me and publicly humiliates me, do any of you really think things will ever be "normal"? I asked my sister; we're not close, she has no children and her husband is dying from liver failure. She enjoys rubbing my nose in the fact that my daughter goes to her house to visit her and her husband, that Bozo's been there too, and they are sooo happy together and she is so happy to have my daughter in her life. When I ask her to please talk with her, help her get beyond the anger and speak with me, she tells me that my daughter hates me and that I should just move on and try to have a relationship with my other daughter because Britt is "gone" forever and she's not looking back. She also says that she just got Britt in her life and she doesn't want to ruin what she has with her by bringing me into it. My daughter is the daughter she never had, and I think she is becoming the mother she wants, so she gets farther and farther away from me. I'm just lost guys. Is there any hope? Please be honest and tell me what you really feel, not what I so much want to hear. Because deep in my soul, I think I'm dead in her eyes and in her heart.
My husband and I are simply living together at the moment. We are trying to sell our house with no luck at all. Finances are tough. Between our finances and the situation with my daughter, it has made our marriage worsen because it was never the strongest marriage in the first place. I feel alone and surrounded by people who despise me. I went to my husband many times in the last few weeks, asked if he thought we could try to work on our marriage, attend counseling, etc. and he said absolutely not it was way too late and that he didn't love me anymore. That we should have gotten out of this marriage when the kids were younger, but we both stayed because we thought we were doing what was best for our children. My daughter resents her dad for staying with me all these years and not putting me to the curb. She is angry with him for not kicking ME out of the house so that she could still live here. You have no idea how unloved I feel. If I had somewhere else to go or stay, i would, but I simply don't have anywhere to live. And it doesn't look like our house is going anywhere soon in this market. We don't even get any showings.
So my life is nothing but a mess and I spend my entire days crying. Thank God for my job; it forces me to think about other things for at least a portion of the day, but my failed marriage, my estrangement with my daughter, is always in the back of my mind and more than I can bear most days. My youngest daughter thinks I'm pathetic in the fact that I cry so much about Britt. She says she's gone just get over it. No one understands the heart of a mother. To know my daughter hates me the way she does and wishes me dead as the only way to find peace in her life hurts like nothing else in this world ever could. Maybe I did ruin her. Maybe it is all my fault. I know all of you will say that I can't change what has happened in the past and I can only move forward, but move forward to what? My son is 24, doesn't even want to discuss his sister or what hurts me. Same for my 17 year old daughter. She has her own life, her own friends. I really don't fit in with anyone and seem to be nothing but a nuisance to my entire family. So what do I move forward to? I don't have extra money to do anything at all. The house, bills, etc. doesn't leave much for anything; in fact most months I'm short on cash. I just feel really down because I don't see one bright thing in my present or my future right now.
I worry that my daughter has lost contact with everyone in her family now and that this court fiasco has really drawn a line in the sand. She has made her position known loud and clear. She has chosen sides and has no intention of having anything to do with me ever again. She has told my sister that, and my sister is just like my daughter. Claims my mom abused her as a child; blamed everything that went wrong in her life on my mom. When my Mom had Alzheimers, my sister used to start fights with her and cause nothing but problems for her. It's safe to say that she hated my mom til the day she died,although she tried to pretend to be there in the end, and says she loves her, trust me she's just like my daughter. Ironically, they are born under the same zodiac sign if any of you believe in that stuff.
Anyway, I used to have hope. Hope that we'd reconcile and be close. Hope that we could laugh about all of this one day. But I don't see that in my future with her. I see me, sad and lonely with my kids all grown up and not wanting to be around me. I don't feel I was a bad mom. Maybe I yelled more than I should have, didn't have the patience I should have, but I sacrificed everything for my children. I was involved in their school, helped them with homework, sports, etc. made Christmas, bdays, holidays special. They were my life and I only wanted the best for them. Even now if my daughter is happier and better off without me, then it is what it is. But I can't just pretend it doesnt hurt and there isn't any magic pill or doctor that can talk me out of the way I feel. Sure, if I had additional resources, I could get a small place of my own, take vacations and time just for me, do things I enjoy...in a perfect world things would be so much simpler.
I know noone knows the future and no one has a crystal ball, but with everything I've told you here in all these posts, and the way my daughter treats me and talks about me and hates me and hits me and publicly humiliates me, do any of you really think things will ever be "normal"? I asked my sister; we're not close, she has no children and her husband is dying from liver failure. She enjoys rubbing my nose in the fact that my daughter goes to her house to visit her and her husband, that Bozo's been there too, and they are sooo happy together and she is so happy to have my daughter in her life. When I ask her to please talk with her, help her get beyond the anger and speak with me, she tells me that my daughter hates me and that I should just move on and try to have a relationship with my other daughter because Britt is "gone" forever and she's not looking back. She also says that she just got Britt in her life and she doesn't want to ruin what she has with her by bringing me into it. My daughter is the daughter she never had, and I think she is becoming the mother she wants, so she gets farther and farther away from me. I'm just lost guys. Is there any hope? Please be honest and tell me what you really feel, not what I so much want to hear. Because deep in my soul, I think I'm dead in her eyes and in her heart.
