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General Parenting
Lost on how to handle my 8 year old son
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<blockquote data-quote="pigless in VA" data-source="post: 682182" data-attributes="member: 11832"><p>Welcome, wwise. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/welcomecat.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":welcomecat:" title="welcomecat :welcomecat:" data-shortname=":welcomecat:" /></p><p></p><p>My step-sister was abandoned by her father at age 10. It is incredibly hurtful to have a parent walk out of your life. Children have a way of thinking that actions of the adults in their lives are their faults. They can blame themselves for parents' divorces, abandonments, and even deaths. </p><p></p><p>I think it's particularly difficult for boys to process softer emotions such as sadness and grief. They seem to find it much easier to be angry all the time instead. My son has been in counseling since the age of 8 due to his father. First my son was ignored for years by his father who was mentally ill. Then his father died. It took my son an incredibly long time to process all that grief.</p><p></p><p>I think as far as discipline goes, you have to find the one thing that your child really loves and use it. For my son, it was the Xbox. Whenever he got out of line, I took the Xbox away from him. </p><p></p><p>For your son, I think the first bad behavior you must address is the hitting, kicking, and slapping. The best resource I can give you is a book called <u>The Explosive Child</u> by Ross Greene. It will help you to prioritize the child's behaviors and deal with the more serious ones first. Some things, you simply need to ignore for awhile. Kids get a surprising amount of reward from negative attention, meaning they like having adults fuss at them all the time. It's up to the adults to try to shift that dynamic toward more positive interactions and fewer negative ones.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pigless in VA, post: 682182, member: 11832"] Welcome, wwise. :welcomecat: My step-sister was abandoned by her father at age 10. It is incredibly hurtful to have a parent walk out of your life. Children have a way of thinking that actions of the adults in their lives are their faults. They can blame themselves for parents' divorces, abandonments, and even deaths. I think it's particularly difficult for boys to process softer emotions such as sadness and grief. They seem to find it much easier to be angry all the time instead. My son has been in counseling since the age of 8 due to his father. First my son was ignored for years by his father who was mentally ill. Then his father died. It took my son an incredibly long time to process all that grief. I think as far as discipline goes, you have to find the one thing that your child really loves and use it. For my son, it was the Xbox. Whenever he got out of line, I took the Xbox away from him. For your son, I think the first bad behavior you must address is the hitting, kicking, and slapping. The best resource I can give you is a book called [U]The Explosive Child[/U] by Ross Greene. It will help you to prioritize the child's behaviors and deal with the more serious ones first. Some things, you simply need to ignore for awhile. Kids get a surprising amount of reward from negative attention, meaning they like having adults fuss at them all the time. It's up to the adults to try to shift that dynamic toward more positive interactions and fewer negative ones. [/QUOTE]
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Lost on how to handle my 8 year old son
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