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Lost on how to handle my 8 year old son
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<blockquote data-quote="TargetPractice" data-source="post: 699204" data-attributes="member: 20771"><p>Hello, wwise, I'm new here too, nice to meet you!</p><p></p><p>I almost cried when I read your post, your son is so much like mine, right down to the acting normal. I know your pain, so, to start, *HUG*, or at least the sentiment if you're not a hugger <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />. I agree with everyone above who suggested lingering guilt and hurt over his father. My boy is 14, and I've noticed a pattern of him acting out or trying to hurt someone emotionally (usually me, since he blames me for the divorce and apparently for his father's work schedule as well ) after learning his father has canceled a scheduled visit. I feel that if he could express that appropriately, be able to say he feels disappointed or angry, he would be able to process it better. He is in counselling, and we are working on it, but he is not ready to open up yet. He seems to talk best with his stepfather, my husband. Is there someone in your son's life that he genuinely trusts and can take a more active role in his life for while? Or the possibility of a fun sport or scouts? It would have to be something he's very interested in, to engage him. Any experience that gives him positive reinforcement and positive feelings, or feelings of success, achievement and personal worth you can give him....well, we all like those things, right?. I can't give any better advice, besides take care of yourselves, and support the sibs as much as you can! As my younger two will tell you, its stressful on the sibs when one of the kids is showing his hurt this way. You sound like a great dad! It's hard, but somehow we get through it, even if it's only one hour at a time!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TargetPractice, post: 699204, member: 20771"] Hello, wwise, I'm new here too, nice to meet you! I almost cried when I read your post, your son is so much like mine, right down to the acting normal. I know your pain, so, to start, *HUG*, or at least the sentiment if you're not a hugger :). I agree with everyone above who suggested lingering guilt and hurt over his father. My boy is 14, and I've noticed a pattern of him acting out or trying to hurt someone emotionally (usually me, since he blames me for the divorce and apparently for his father's work schedule as well ) after learning his father has canceled a scheduled visit. I feel that if he could express that appropriately, be able to say he feels disappointed or angry, he would be able to process it better. He is in counselling, and we are working on it, but he is not ready to open up yet. He seems to talk best with his stepfather, my husband. Is there someone in your son's life that he genuinely trusts and can take a more active role in his life for while? Or the possibility of a fun sport or scouts? It would have to be something he's very interested in, to engage him. Any experience that gives him positive reinforcement and positive feelings, or feelings of success, achievement and personal worth you can give him....well, we all like those things, right?. I can't give any better advice, besides take care of yourselves, and support the sibs as much as you can! As my younger two will tell you, its stressful on the sibs when one of the kids is showing his hurt this way. You sound like a great dad! It's hard, but somehow we get through it, even if it's only one hour at a time! [/QUOTE]
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