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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 697397" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Hi Stormy!</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the forum. Sorry you need it but glad we're here for you.</p><p></p><p>You'll get great advice here from parents who get it and are going through similar journeys with their adult children.</p><p></p><p>First of all, you really need to not let him in your home any longer. You deserve peace and safety. Especially when younger children are involved.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like he is using drugs if this is how he is acting. Drugs change people. I have a son like that as well but thankfully he has never shown violence. We sent him 1500 miles away in March to a treatment center after many years of enduring bouts of drug use. When he was sober he still did nothing with his life. Now he has to sink or swim so to speak. I seriously doubt he'll ever live with us again and I can tell you for sure that if he held a knife on anyone in my home that he would most certainly not be allowed back. Bad things can happen. The thought of even seeing him makes me extremely anxious.</p><p></p><p>If he does not want help there is nothing you can do. Anything we, as loving parents, try to do to fix things ends up being enabling them and that is not what you want to be doing. It won't help you and it definitely won't help him. I have learned how to be stronger and not enable due to this site and seeing a therapist. It's very hard because is goes against our motherly instinct. You cannot mother an addict like you do your other children. It does not work.</p><p></p><p>The best thing you can do is take care of yourself and try to detach from him as much as possible. It doesn't mean you don't love him but it means that you are stepping back and letting him have consequences for his actions. If we absorb the consequences they never learn.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong and others that have way more knowledge than I do I'm sure will post soon! I'm still learning too!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 697397, member: 15032"] Hi Stormy! Welcome to the forum. Sorry you need it but glad we're here for you. You'll get great advice here from parents who get it and are going through similar journeys with their adult children. First of all, you really need to not let him in your home any longer. You deserve peace and safety. Especially when younger children are involved. It sounds like he is using drugs if this is how he is acting. Drugs change people. I have a son like that as well but thankfully he has never shown violence. We sent him 1500 miles away in March to a treatment center after many years of enduring bouts of drug use. When he was sober he still did nothing with his life. Now he has to sink or swim so to speak. I seriously doubt he'll ever live with us again and I can tell you for sure that if he held a knife on anyone in my home that he would most certainly not be allowed back. Bad things can happen. The thought of even seeing him makes me extremely anxious. If he does not want help there is nothing you can do. Anything we, as loving parents, try to do to fix things ends up being enabling them and that is not what you want to be doing. It won't help you and it definitely won't help him. I have learned how to be stronger and not enable due to this site and seeing a therapist. It's very hard because is goes against our motherly instinct. You cannot mother an addict like you do your other children. It does not work. The best thing you can do is take care of yourself and try to detach from him as much as possible. It doesn't mean you don't love him but it means that you are stepping back and letting him have consequences for his actions. If we absorb the consequences they never learn. Stay strong and others that have way more knowledge than I do I'm sure will post soon! I'm still learning too! [/QUOTE]
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