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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 697434" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi Stormy, we're glad you're here. My son was addicted to substances for several years, and I think it began with sneaking beer in middle school, progressing to opiates and pot and who knows what else.</p><p></p><p>I had to kick him out and completely let go of him before he began to change a little more than 2 years ago.</p><p></p><p>He had many chances. One of the final straws was him stealing from me when he lived with me. You can't live in a house with someone who is stealing from you. You can't rest, not knowing if everything you own is going to be snatched away and sold for drug money. My son stole from many people.</p><p></p><p>My son is now 27. I know you are his mother and you love him, but believe me, you can't fix this, and if he's a drug addict or alcoholic, having him in your home just won't work.</p><p></p><p>Like RN said, you can't parent an addict like you parent your other children.</p><p></p><p>I would work to emotionally let go of him right now. That doesn't mean forever. Who knows when he will decide that this way of life isn't for him? That is going to be on his timeline and his decision---not yours. It took me a long time to see that.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, let me suggest the book Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend and the book CoDependent No More by Melodie Beattie. Please consider going to an Al-Anon meeting (go to 6 before you decide if Al-Anon is for you or not). Al-Anon saved my life. It is a wonderful program.</p><p></p><p>And please keep posting here. We get it and we care. Warm hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 697434, member: 17542"] Hi Stormy, we're glad you're here. My son was addicted to substances for several years, and I think it began with sneaking beer in middle school, progressing to opiates and pot and who knows what else. I had to kick him out and completely let go of him before he began to change a little more than 2 years ago. He had many chances. One of the final straws was him stealing from me when he lived with me. You can't live in a house with someone who is stealing from you. You can't rest, not knowing if everything you own is going to be snatched away and sold for drug money. My son stole from many people. My son is now 27. I know you are his mother and you love him, but believe me, you can't fix this, and if he's a drug addict or alcoholic, having him in your home just won't work. Like RN said, you can't parent an addict like you parent your other children. I would work to emotionally let go of him right now. That doesn't mean forever. Who knows when he will decide that this way of life isn't for him? That is going to be on his timeline and his decision---not yours. It took me a long time to see that. In the meantime, let me suggest the book Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend and the book CoDependent No More by Melodie Beattie. Please consider going to an Al-Anon meeting (go to 6 before you decide if Al-Anon is for you or not). Al-Anon saved my life. It is a wonderful program. And please keep posting here. We get it and we care. Warm hugs. [/QUOTE]
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