lull before the storm is over - storming again

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Tiredof33, Sep 21, 2012.

  1. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    The lull is over the storm has hit!
    After the break up with the girlfriend from h*** my difficult child asked for a bus ticket to stay with non drugging friends and look for a job. I bought the ticket and told him it was his birthday present.

    He did well there but couldn't find a job. He text me 2 months ago that he was going to NC with a friend and they were doing some construction work. This worked well for 2 months.

    The end of August he told me he liked traveling around with his friend and their next job was in TN and they were leaving that day.

    I had text him to see how things were and never heard from him. He had been posting on FB that he was suicidal and I'm sure he is definitely drinking and probably drug use. I have no way to contact him.

    Yesterday he text me that their truck had broken down and would I send him $150 for a ticket. I text him back and asked where he was and he said Orlando. And when I text asking more questions I didn't hear from him again.

    I guess he didn't go to TN with his friend, and no, I will not give him money. I am trying hard to get back into heavy detatch mode, I have a lot to do and it's hard to focus. I know my BiPolar (BP) is sky high so I'm heading to the gym. It is what it is and what will be will be. You can not make them seek help.

    My saving grace is my hubby of 13 years is not his father so he is not emotionally attached and it helps tremendously. My heart goes out to our forum members with the younger difficult children. If anyone had told me that I would be going through this for so many years ........................
  2. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So very sorry Tired, you know we know how you feel, sigh. Sending gentle hugs and good vibes for you to stay calm and detached.
  3. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    Thank you RC,
    I have friends that have the attitude, at his age you should be used to/or over it. If it was just that easy!

    I worked in my garden yesterday for hours and have the ant bites to prove it lol!! I went to the gym today and meditated first since I was the only one there (small town lol).

    I also think of you often as we probably have the oldest difficult children on the forum. I'm so glad you have your SO, I feel the same about my hubby.

    Have a great weekend.
  4. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    I wish you peace and rest and that the troubled thoughts give way so you can have your mind is all your own again. I don't know how else to say it. But I know the anxiety that comes when worry sets in.

    Thinking of you and lighting a candle tonight with thoughts and prayers that all of our children are safe and sound.

  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry Tired. It must be so exhausting trying to keep up with his movements. You are doing a great job at detaching. At some point they have to grow up don't they? I'm sorry for your worries about him. I have a feeling I will be worrying about my difficult child until the day I die. I hope he gets his life together soon.

    I pray that all our difficult children are safe tonight also.

  6. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I was so touched by Signorina's lighting a candle for all our brought tears to my eyes as I thought of my difficult child and all of yours..........I know your stories now and each one is so poignant, so real and tender.........the difficult child's 'out there' homeless, the ones in hospitals, jails, prisons, living on the edge or in our homes and yet so far almost all ways disconnected from us in some manner, big or small............I am going to light a candle too, for all our precious difficult child's, wherever they are, surrounding them with love and thoughts and prayers to keep them safe and sound.........
  7. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    I agree, I love the candles - if only our love could protect them and keep them safe.
    (((prayers for peace for us all)))
  8. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Tired, I understand. I never thought we would still be dealing with this when our difficult child was 27. It now looks like it will be never ending.
  9. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    I know Kathy. If my difficult child could only understand that he can never drink alcohol or use drugs. He can not control it and it sends him into a very dark place with depression.

    At 34 my difficult child would be content to live at home and party. I've long ago stopped talking to him about rehab.

    Wishes for a peaceful weekend for us all.
  10. Srcsweet2

    Srcsweet2 New Member

    I am sorry your going through this and even though my son is almost 25 I feel the same. Years of eggshells...years of waiting for that one last call...waiting ..holding our breath..praying is all very draining, I am almost greatful for texts then I don't have to hear his voice ..becoming destracted by how he he high, is he drunk, is he just plain crazy at least with a text I know he is alive . I am trying to let go myself just having a hard time figuring out just how...
  11. Rumpole

    Rumpole New Member

    Agh. I know what it's like doing this, I feel very guilty and I'm very sorry it's happening. Equally, I know how bad he's feeling at the moment; it doesn't excuse it, but I know he would be feeling very upset and incredibly anxious about contacting you. I know, no excuse; it's bad for everyone. Even so, I'm sorry on behalf of difficult children (if I can say that)

    Despite my various stands on here, that's a good call. Who knows what he'd spend the money on? Any possibility that if he contacts you he could catch a coach-bus home on a prepaid ticket? Maybe you're not in the mood for him simply to come home and abuse drugs there. No easy answers. Hugs (if a difficult child can offer one, I offer it)