I am also new to this forum. I am experiencing the same problems as 'paraeducator'. I have a 24 year old daughter living at home - back in June this year she lost her job and has since made no effort whatsoever to find another one. She has been charging left right and center on my grocery charge account and even going so far as to take my debit card out of my purse to charge things around town - all without my prior knowledge or permission. She lies incessantly and does nothing to help herself or to try to make up for what she's done. From her redundancy money she did pay for computer classes at the community college so that is a bit encouraging but it's not enough. Her behavior is causing a strain on our marriage (we've been married for nearly 30 years and happily up to now). She repeats this bad behavior over and over again and now I am beginning to think she has a substance abuse problem. I have seen empty wine bottles in her room. I have now told her that enough is enough; her cell phone will be cut off at the end of this month since I'm not paying for it any longer - also if she doesn't make an effort to find work (any kind of work), then she has to move out. I've had enough and this has gone on long enough. I am going to demand she sit down with her father and I and we discuss exactly what's going on with her. I seriously think she needs to go to some sort of counseling but I know my husband is going to think I'm overreacting - he tends to bury his head in the sand and let's me deal with all the stress and worry which isn't fair to me. She has a boyfriend (although she says he's only a friend) who she has been seeing for 5 years or more. She needs to get him out of her life; he uses her motorbike which she paid for, probably eats all the groceries she is charging on my account, and earlier this year when she was working, she paid for a week's vacation entirely herself (airfares, hotels, food, etc. you name it). I don't think he is a good influence on her and doesn't do anything to encourage her to move ahead. So as far as I'm concerned, they feed off each other on this bad behavior (he also lives at home with his mother but is gainfully employed). I think she does all the contributing to their so-called relationship while he does nothing but take, take, take. I'd appreciate anyone's feedback on this. I am glad to know I'm not the only one suffering with these problems. I appreciate any support I can get. I really want to fix what is wrong in her life, but she has to want to get help. Thank you.