Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Lying Stealing Adult Child 2
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="tishthedish" data-source="post: 634794" data-attributes="member: 17103"><p>ACE, I am sorry for your need to be here, but boy is it nice to be able to talk to people that know this stuff cold. I have had my own share of grief from my 2 sons. Stealing, substance abuse and more. What made my ears perk up was your mention of your 30+ years of marriage that might be in peril. I have spent most of my adult life shepherding my difficult child's from one crisis to another. It was totally understandable when they were young and had health/neurological issues. Even then they were a handful. So as a way to deal with the maelstrom of school and social issues that came along my husband and I tacitly divided our duties as follows: He worked full time/me part time. He and I went to sporting activities. I did doctor's appointments and he did yard work and work around the house. I did the shopping, cooking, bill paying and much more. Because I had the responsibility of Health Czar for our family when things heated up as the boys got older husband was comfortable to stay in the background regarding discipline and health issues. </p><p></p><p>Nothing about our family life is as I planned. Not parenthood, not grand-parenthood. Over the last few years I have realized that this split of responsibilities no longer works for us. He doesn't get to stay in the background. I need him next to me. And when we had to get our sons out of our house for our own safety and well-being we found that together, just us two, we are a family. Just like it was in the beginning. </p><p></p><p>What I am getting around to is that I think the first step to dealing with your daughter is to shore up what you know is good and what will render you most aid as you go forward...your solid 30+ year marriage. Scent of Cedar shared with me some valuable insight regarding the importance of preserving this. It has gotten better. Your husband has to be brought up to speed on your needs and made aware that what lies ahead will be too big for you to carry on your own. I tried to do it by myself and it almost ruined me. I learned to ask for what I need. I shared my worries and he listened. We went to couples counseling. The therapist wasn't that great but the conversations we had to and from the appointments was worth the time, money and effort. It opened up the dialogue. I hope with all my heart that you will have the strength and support you need as you go through this difficult time. We are here with you. Keep posting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tishthedish, post: 634794, member: 17103"] ACE, I am sorry for your need to be here, but boy is it nice to be able to talk to people that know this stuff cold. I have had my own share of grief from my 2 sons. Stealing, substance abuse and more. What made my ears perk up was your mention of your 30+ years of marriage that might be in peril. I have spent most of my adult life shepherding my difficult child's from one crisis to another. It was totally understandable when they were young and had health/neurological issues. Even then they were a handful. So as a way to deal with the maelstrom of school and social issues that came along my husband and I tacitly divided our duties as follows: He worked full time/me part time. He and I went to sporting activities. I did doctor's appointments and he did yard work and work around the house. I did the shopping, cooking, bill paying and much more. Because I had the responsibility of Health Czar for our family when things heated up as the boys got older husband was comfortable to stay in the background regarding discipline and health issues. Nothing about our family life is as I planned. Not parenthood, not grand-parenthood. Over the last few years I have realized that this split of responsibilities no longer works for us. He doesn't get to stay in the background. I need him next to me. And when we had to get our sons out of our house for our own safety and well-being we found that together, just us two, we are a family. Just like it was in the beginning. What I am getting around to is that I think the first step to dealing with your daughter is to shore up what you know is good and what will render you most aid as you go forward...your solid 30+ year marriage. Scent of Cedar shared with me some valuable insight regarding the importance of preserving this. It has gotten better. Your husband has to be brought up to speed on your needs and made aware that what lies ahead will be too big for you to carry on your own. I tried to do it by myself and it almost ruined me. I learned to ask for what I need. I shared my worries and he listened. We went to couples counseling. The therapist wasn't that great but the conversations we had to and from the appointments was worth the time, money and effort. It opened up the dialogue. I hope with all my heart that you will have the strength and support you need as you go through this difficult time. We are here with you. Keep posting. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Lying Stealing Adult Child 2
Top