Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Made it through the holidays anyway!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 675790" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'm sorry you are hurting for your daughter, as we all do. But remember she is choosing her boyfriend. She chose him for a reason and she is staying for a reason. Unless she is physically disabled or cognitively disabled there is no reason she can't work and leave him, using community services and government services while she does, to take care of the kids. In most states, you can get Medicaid for minor children and depending on income some sort of help buying food, maybe even housing assistance although I do know there are long waiting lists for that. And you do have to follow rules when you live there (or anywhere). You can't be caught using drugs, if that is an issue. Although boyfriend treats her badly, she does not feel it is bad enough that she is getting her own life together that she can leave. This is on her, not him. And, no, I also don't believe she should live with you. You matter, and she would cause too much stress</p><p></p><p>If I were you, I would go low contact with your daughter and not talk to her much and if she gets abusive, I would set a boundary, although she won't like it:</p><p></p><p>"Daughter, I deserve respect and if you are not respectful when we speak, I am going to gently hang up/stop texting/detach from your abusive words until you feel better." Then do it. You don't have to listen. It's a choice.She can go to a therapist to vent. There are mental health services that are free/sliding scale. You can tell her about that and even find out the phone number and give it to her, but you are not trained to deal with her and a therapist is.</p><p></p><p>I would not worry about her chosen profession, if she even follows through. Number one is getting healthy or she will not be able to hold ANY skilled job, especially if she uses drugs or drinks a lot and the employer drug tests. Right now just cashiering or working at fast food is an improvement and will probably make her feel empowered. If she wants cable, which is not a necessity, if she works, she can pay for it.</p><p></p><p>I hope you understand that YOU are important, as important as she is, and be kind to yourself. We are all pulling for you. We are holding your hand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 675790, member: 1550"] I'm sorry you are hurting for your daughter, as we all do. But remember she is choosing her boyfriend. She chose him for a reason and she is staying for a reason. Unless she is physically disabled or cognitively disabled there is no reason she can't work and leave him, using community services and government services while she does, to take care of the kids. In most states, you can get Medicaid for minor children and depending on income some sort of help buying food, maybe even housing assistance although I do know there are long waiting lists for that. And you do have to follow rules when you live there (or anywhere). You can't be caught using drugs, if that is an issue. Although boyfriend treats her badly, she does not feel it is bad enough that she is getting her own life together that she can leave. This is on her, not him. And, no, I also don't believe she should live with you. You matter, and she would cause too much stress If I were you, I would go low contact with your daughter and not talk to her much and if she gets abusive, I would set a boundary, although she won't like it: "Daughter, I deserve respect and if you are not respectful when we speak, I am going to gently hang up/stop texting/detach from your abusive words until you feel better." Then do it. You don't have to listen. It's a choice.She can go to a therapist to vent. There are mental health services that are free/sliding scale. You can tell her about that and even find out the phone number and give it to her, but you are not trained to deal with her and a therapist is. I would not worry about her chosen profession, if she even follows through. Number one is getting healthy or she will not be able to hold ANY skilled job, especially if she uses drugs or drinks a lot and the employer drug tests. Right now just cashiering or working at fast food is an improvement and will probably make her feel empowered. If she wants cable, which is not a necessity, if she works, she can pay for it. I hope you understand that YOU are important, as important as she is, and be kind to yourself. We are all pulling for you. We are holding your hand. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Made it through the holidays anyway!
Top