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<blockquote data-quote="Sam3" data-source="post: 718658" data-attributes="member: 19290"><p>I spoke too soon. After being told hours earlier that whatever was going on he can not be here altered or holding, he came home both last night with siblings still awake on a school night. I'm heartbroken this boundary has been breached. </p><p></p><p>His tone went from the usual to somewhat remorseful (especially when he realized how obvious he was and how much the other two have already been through) But he is still spinning it as some kind of " family" management issue rather than his substance use issue. Notwithstanding all my prep for a relapse and a detached response, the first time this reared its ugly head in my face again after two years I was blind with emotion. I succeeded only somewhat in tamping down the "WTFs?"</p><p></p><p>But we did hold firm that we will find him a room with meals if he cannot stay with friends. I had done a lot of soul searching about whether more damage was being done from not being home for a few months. Though at the time we got him a sober living bed (which he promptly left) the problem was only publicly a failure to launch. I know most people believe in the rock bottom being hastened by homelessness but I've read too that some had mixed feelings because their kids languished in homelessness. He was never a homebody or "family man" but I do believe he needs a home to keep a vision of a positive future in mind. In true ODD fashion, he has never ever been motivated by punishment.</p><p></p><p>That said we will have to give him the sense of family and grounding to work back toward somehow.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sam3, post: 718658, member: 19290"] I spoke too soon. After being told hours earlier that whatever was going on he can not be here altered or holding, he came home both last night with siblings still awake on a school night. I'm heartbroken this boundary has been breached. His tone went from the usual to somewhat remorseful (especially when he realized how obvious he was and how much the other two have already been through) But he is still spinning it as some kind of " family" management issue rather than his substance use issue. Notwithstanding all my prep for a relapse and a detached response, the first time this reared its ugly head in my face again after two years I was blind with emotion. I succeeded only somewhat in tamping down the "WTFs?" But we did hold firm that we will find him a room with meals if he cannot stay with friends. I had done a lot of soul searching about whether more damage was being done from not being home for a few months. Though at the time we got him a sober living bed (which he promptly left) the problem was only publicly a failure to launch. I know most people believe in the rock bottom being hastened by homelessness but I've read too that some had mixed feelings because their kids languished in homelessness. He was never a homebody or "family man" but I do believe he needs a home to keep a vision of a positive future in mind. In true ODD fashion, he has never ever been motivated by punishment. That said we will have to give him the sense of family and grounding to work back toward somehow. [/QUOTE]
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