major difficult child meltdown

Janna

New Member
In the schools defense, they are really telling you the only thing they can tell you. Get your daughter here and we'll work on the rest. My son is in a partial hospitalization program, and that's what they tell me. Just get him here. And, yes, once he's there, they have people to drag him off the van if need be, to get him into school, and then get him to stay there. Now, this isn't a regular school - it's a partial - but they will make him stay.

I know you're totally stressed, but I would still have consequences for her not going to school. She wouldn't be watching TV, playing games, or doing anything else fun. We do school work at the dining room table during school hours if Dylan chooses not to go. It's never fun.

I know the stressful feeling of your child not getting up and going. We've had a few good months, but that doesn't mean it can't go backwards. I hope things ease up for you.

I'd definately, without a doubt, get an Advocate. I think I told you this yesterday. Call your Department of Education at the capital of whatever state you live in, and ask for a referral. The school won't be able to accept psychiatrist letters forever. Eventually your daughter is just going to be truant and consequences will come from that, whether that be fines (here in PA, they send fines) or whatever it is. And, when that time comes, you are going to need someone on your side. You definately need the Advocate.
 

Jena

New Member
I am an advocate lol. I just started two weeks ago. It's a pretty intense program here in new york for children with whom are in danger of being removed from their home. The kids are in "crisis" mode as is the family. It's a great non for profit agency.

I've utilized some ppl there today that i've met and work with. They agree and suggested i go ahead with the letter and have it sent to the school.

There's a history of my dealings with this particular school. All last year difficult child was in crisis mode there, we had multiple meetings at bldg level to address the issues, school refusal was huge I welcomed their help and said ok let's see if we can do this together. Long story short after I placed the job in thier laps they quickly found that it wasn't going to work, they tried various attempts, etc. than i instead of hospitalizing her I quit my job about 10 mos ago, i took her for a neuropysch testing. we knew of the Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and adhd, yet i was told by several pyschdoc's they suspected BiPolar (BP). School kept screaming, no, no it's not that. diagnosis from neuropysch came back depressive disorder, they didn't see the hyped difficult child that only "i" mostly get to see by the way. she doesn't display BiPolar (BP) behaviors in school at all just alot of anxiety and overall neediness. lucky for them.

Once they got upset at their failed attempts they began to come down on me in regards to academics. difficult child at that point started doing nosedive with grades, etc. i said hey cart before the horse. mental health comes first. they basically tried to pin it on me. I began documenting everything.

Than at end of year "off the record" I was told by sw at school and teacher we're sorry we didn't realize the needs difficult child has, or the fact she def needs medications to get thru life. by the way it was her first year in the school. They thought oh we'll fix her sort of thing.

This year they place her with ms. i'll fix it all. Totally full of herself teacher with whom told me on phone conversations I shouldnt' be medicating, etc. my difficult child doens't have BiPolar (BP). after taking the almsot year off of work, getting her stabilized on medications somewhat and working with therapist and working with her alot myself role playing, socialization skills, etc. i had her sleeping, and eating in school, using bathroom there and getting in the door.

Last mtg. as a few mos ago where they sat there and said oh yoru still moving forward with submitting docs to Special Education for iep? i said umm yea def. she needs provisions here and there to make it thru her day and truly achieve her goals academically as well. They laughed it off and said oh well we think that the reason she is stable now is due to her "teacher'. Who by the way is totally full of herself, and shouldnt' be when handling a difficult child. :)

So I sat with them and said when the hit happens again and difficult child slides downward and it will occur my life has taught me so i would like to put a plan into place whereas we dont' go into "panic" mode like last year and sit and contemplate we have to act on bldg level until difficult child gets classified. they all laughed it off once again, commented on the dangerous ap i'm giving her etc. yet nothing in writing all conversation.

so today happened, i knew it would i think. I even sat and wrotea letter to teacher stating beware high anxiety today.

so overall i'm done with this school and looking forward to middle school. we still have this year and all of next to get thru.

This particular school is driven by academics totally and completely. it's a known fact around here their attitude in regards to any special needs kid. Their minds are closed to the grey of mental health issues. I've tried to help and assist i've given them doctor's copied excerpts from books.

As far as giving her a consequence, most last year when this happened i did. I would get work from school missed make her sit and do it, etc. today I did not. My mom gut toldme not to. Alot of changes this week, me working again, a new sitter, the standardized testing that iv'e now learned she doesnt' cope well with. So, it's too much change at once and it was bound to happen.

I strongly believe that in time i can get her into the bldg and stable again. I'm hoping today was just a reaction to all the change that's occured in her world and her loss of safety was at risk and her security level compromised in her mind. She has had several anxiety attacks in the past 2 weeks that she has handled all by herself and gotten thru while at school.

So, overall the school knows full well of her struggles, etc. so today shouldnt' of been such a surprise to them. Nor should they of handled themselves or rather the sw the way she did in stating "we are a bunch of qualified mental health professionals" just drag her in, she's never melted down here before!!

She has had several anxiety attacks in school a few where i was called out of work last year to go and bring her down myself, alot where i had to sit on the phone and bring her down or walk teacher thru it. so their comment of oh she's all good just drag her in, was um needless to say ridiculous. so that's where my aggrivation with them comes from, their ignorance to children with complicated or several diagnosis's. their specialty lies with add, adhd anything out of that realm their totally lost.

so i feel that it's up to me to enlighten them officially lol. I have a friend whose son is autistic, she had to pull him out because they weren't able to help or educate him at all. He was miserable and failing and it wasn't good. She told me wow maybe you'll be the one to enlighten them to what our kids truly need. Their model of an inclusion program is just popping an aide in the room to sit and "watch" the child. Not help, or be part of the class just watch.

interesting, huh..?? sorry so so long

sorry so long.
 
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