Make mine a double, please!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TPaul, Sep 23, 2009.

  1. TPaul

    TPaul Idecor8

    Hello everyone,
    Well it is official today, we now have 2 individuals with bipolar living under the same roof!!!

    After a major melt down at school yesterday, Levi was suspend for the day. His therapist came to the school and saw him in full battle mode for the first time and got him an emergency appointment with a psychiatrist, and just as I knew known deep in my gut, Levi is classic bipolar in living breathing young man flesh, :sad-very:.

    Truly I don't know whether to find someplace to sit and cry my eyes out, ( yes grown men are allowed to cry, :sad-very:) or to be encouraged because maybe his mother will find the courage to truly except her bipolar condition and have the desire to face it head on, and take it by the horns and wrestle it ,and it not wrestle and pin her down.

    I do fill torn right down the middle through and through. Levi will need Mom to be the example on taking medications, right and not be how she has been. She takes them when I give them to her when she gets home from work in the am. If I have had to leave before she gets home, she in the past might take them, or would lie to me and say she did. I would count medications and sure enough, she had not taken them. If she runs out, She will not do what she needs to get refills unless I nag or pressure her, then she stays mad at me about it. Just today, she was to go to the clinic where she could pick up some of the medications and I made sure she had money to pick up the other medications at the pharmacy. She did neither, and wonders why she is lifeless and draggy the last few days, DUHHHH!!!:mad:

    Levi starts on Abilify and Prozac tonite, while I hate for him to have to take medications like these so young, I so so need for it to hopefully help a little bit and calm things down just a notch or two , or three, :faint: He does not want people at school, or even the staff there to know he is bipolar. I don't know how to handle that one. I understand him being uncomfortable with it, but I feel after the last couple of years problems, they should know what is going on and what to watch for and such. How have some of you handled this situation with your children?

    One can if need be not be a husband or wife, but one can never quiet being a parent!!! I want the best for him, and I want him to be able to fight this and be the victor so very deeply. I want all the tools available for him to be there for his use. What ever it takes, what ever hardship or suffering I might have to endure it will all be worth it to see him have a Happy and long productive life!!!!! Where do I turn, what do I do, where do I go. So many questions, so much to understand and digest to make sure I provide the wisest and most useful direction and tools to make his life the best that it can possibly be!!!

    Tonite my man sitting in the rain staring of into the future with raindrops falling to hide the tears seems almost poetic.

    Thanks for listening,
    an ear and shoulder can be one of the greatest gifts of all!!!!
  2. Star*

    Star* call 911

    (hands designer umbrella) - Idewknotdecor8 :tongue:

    raindrops keep falling on your la lah lah lah la lah something else I forget the words will soon be turning red.....nothing seems to fit 'cause rain drops keep falling on my head they keep falling.....:tongue:

    So would ya be callin' that wish bye-bye bi-bi polar in your home eh?

    TOO TOO much much. :whiteflag:

    Have a much much better better tu-tu morrow morrow.
    Hugs Hugs
    Star Star

    Thats double for each one of your bi bi polar polar kids kids. :angel3:
    funny funny me me
    not not
  3. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I've waited so long --------(entertainment committee)

    Ooooooooooooooooooklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain.....and the somethign something....knew is the something to....something and the ......lala dodododdooooo do dooooo.

    Ooooooooooooooooooooooo klaaaaaaa homa......


    AGAIN???? If you insist!!!!!

    (someone get her off the stage puhlease) .....'s ---->her fault - she put she was from OOoooooooooklahoma....where the wind comes sweeping down the plains..:surprise:
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    OMG!~ I hope those two medications work better for your son than they did mine! They might, but be aware and watch for signs that things are getting worse and call psychiatrist right away if they do. Not to be paranoid, but on prozac alone, my son went on a two hour crime spree and set a brush fire and got a suspended sentence to committal to state Department of Juvenile Justice. On abilify with lithium, he drew a knife on me and the suspension was revoked. Need I tell you where he is now?

    Here's your double- I think you are going to need it!


    And for tomorrow morning..... LOL!
  5. TPaul

    TPaul Idecor8

    LOL LOL,
    A bunch of comedians sipping strong drinks and sounding like hyenas howling in the wind!!!!:entertaining:

    Everybody dance now :dance::dance:

    :beautifulthing: TO SEE :bravo:

    Thanks for the laughs guys and gals

    :goodnight: off to bed with a :bigsmile: on this tired old fellows face!!!!!

    Have a great night and even better morning!!!

    T. Paul and guys decor8 too, lol lol
  6. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    TPaul, I will pass on some advice that has stood us well throughout years of many medications trials with three children.

    First, only make one medication change at a time (that includes starting one at a time). If there is a positive or a negative reaction, you know without a doubt what is causing it.

    Second, start low and go slow. Our kids can have fragile systems, and it's better not to send them into bad reactions unnececssarily.

    Finally, I strongly recommend you go to and read the Treatment Guidelines. SSRI antidepressants like Prozac are not recommended for the treatment of bipolar disorder in children. They are likely to send the child into mania. Most children with bipolar disorder need a first-line mood stabilizer (Lithium, Lamictal, Depakote, Trilpetal, Tegretol) with an atypical antipsychotic (Abilify, Risperdal, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon).

    Hang in there.
  7. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    What Smallworld said.

    And STAR*, settled down girl!!

    You cannot be the parent for your wife. She's got her own row to hoe, you cannot do it for her. She's either got to own up to her condition and take her medications ON HER OWN like a good girl, or not. It's not your job. If you want to remind her, fine. But don't drive yourself crazy counting her pills, etc. That's just too much.

    The only one you can really hope to help is your child, because you do have some control over that situation.

    You are already doing the right things by him. Getting him medical help, getting him the medications he needs. Being the advocate he needs.

    Educate yourself on the disorder... read, read, read. Join NAMI. Attend a NAMI Basics class. Read some more. Join CABF. Read some more. Ask questions.

    As for telling the school, they NEED to know. Your child qualifies for help, and he should be getting every ounce of support he has coming from the school.

    The good news for your child is that he's getting help early. Probably something your wife did NOT get, and probably the reason she resists the things she needs to stay healthy now. Early treatment has a MUCH better prognosis for compliance and stability later on.

    It won't be easy, but it will get better, because you are already doing something about it.

    Take time to grieve the loss of your "dream" for your child. That's normal. That's expected. Then roll up your sleeves and get to work forging a NEW normal for your family. It can be just as good as what you set your hopes on before.
  8. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Oh, and I would LOOOOVE to deck-or-8
    but my mate
    has no taste
    and my time it would waste
    so my house
    is a wreck
    'cuz I'm up
    to my neck
    in bipolar kids
    with A-D-H-D
    and a smart alec kid
    who I'll call a easy child
    and that guy
    that I mentioned?
    The one I call spouse?
    He's still unemployed
    and a bipolar louse.
    So for now I will dream
    and thumb magazines.
    It's photos I'll clip
    for the way that I dream
    of my house to one day
    be spectacular....
    and clean!
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Passing you a double :wine::wine: I hope you did get some sleep. I too would watch carefully that combo. I agree with changing only one thing at a time medication wise and am also wondering why they are including an AD with the AP.

    Star and Gvcmom-:rofl::rofl:
  10. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    T.Paul - ditto Smallworld, big time.

    I suspect that you will need to share the information with school. If he's being suspended for behaviors that are related to his "disability", he needs the protections of an IEP. Additionally, staff needs to have as much information as possible in order to educate him. If XYZ is a known trigger, they need to know not only that but also how to recognize triggers and how to deal with escalating behaviors. I do remember thinking that I didn't want to share my son's diagnosis with- the school, but when the phone calls started coming daily about his behaviors, something had to give. Just something for you to think about.

    As far as your wife... it's rough. When my son was diagnosed, I had my own a-ha moment. Not that I did anything about it then, but... genetics can be a bear and denial can be very powerful. A few years later I had my own little meltdown, started medications, got in with an excellent therapist. It's a learning process and while logically we always want to be good models for our kids, it's also sometimes incredibly hard to admit that we need help for ourselves. Throw in the depression dynamic (everything's awful and will never get better) and it can be a real uphill battle. Time, encouragement, understanding, and an occasion reality check from my beloved husband (who has the patience of a saint), and eventually I got it together. I hope that your wife will too.

    Hang in there!
  11. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Ditto what smallworld said, again.

    My husband was diagnosed BiPolar (BP) after my son. husband used to say difficult child does not need those medications, they make him worse when difficult child was doing well. When difficult child was doing poorly husband wanted him to have more medications. It was horrible. I battled him through all those years, and husband's BiPolar (BP) got so bad I told him he either got help or he could no longer be married. I meant it, he got help. While the medications for husband do not work as well as they do for difficult child, it has been so much better after husband's diagnosis. husband and difficult child talk about how they feel, not too often but occasionally. husband will give difficult child his evening medications reliably--he understands now from his own experience how important they are. husband takes difficult child to therapy and Occupational Therapist (OT) when needed. While not as involved as some, he is much more involved than before.

    My difficult child has never been on ad's, and I don't know if that would be a road I would want to go down.

    Please come here to post for support. There is a lot of knowledge here also. Try to find something for yourself, some way to maintain your balance. It is hard, but it is so important.
  12. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Ditto Ditto what some of them said... all except those silly ones... Um, Star* and GCV

    I am having a glass with you tonight!:wine::wine:

    I fully agree that you can not make your wife accept her disorder.
    But I do hope she learns to deal with it especially for you kids sake.

    It truly was a wake up call for me when I found out K was BiPolar (BP) as well. I just can not look at my little girl in the eye and preach what i am not practicing.
    How can i shove pills that make her feel yucky down her throat, if i will not take my own.

    How can I get upset with her if she is manic, when I am not willing to control my own mania?

    It aint so bad being a couple of BiPolar (BP)'ers... it actually has made a special bond between my daughter and I. We work together on it and take our medications together.
    But it isn't sunshine and lollipops either, but at least I get it.
    You wife can be his anchor and life line in tough times if she lets herself.
  13. lizzie09

    lizzie09 lizzie

    My 22 yr old son was diagnosed BiPolar (BP) last year He has Prader Willie

    The medications used and very effective were Epilim (depakote) to stabilise and seroquel to calm things....they worked very fast small doses....500mg Epilim
    and 3 x 25mg Seroquel

    Hope thats a help
  14. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Lizzie - if you could contact runawaybunny or one of the mods re: the problems you had signing in, we can try to help. Tx.
  15. miles2go

    miles2go Member

    1. Prozac does seem like a strange choice for a BiPolar (BP), watch and/or get a 2nd opinion.
    2. BiPolar (BP)'s don't like taking their medications. There are books written explaining why, but it's part of the condition. I'd be happy if my wife accepted the medications even if fed them by me, or even accepted her or difficult child's diagnosis.
    For me, this is not wrestling anything to the ground but a long work, with picking battles, sometimes undercover, sometimes playing for time, and major ups and downs.
    3. I never had to deal with the "don't tell staff at school" issue. Obviously you'll have to if you want IEP and special accomodations for him. Where does the stigma come from, do you know?
    Me-married dad
    difficult child 8y.o. BiPolar (BP) boy
    Wife, kids, animals
  16. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Miles, I am bipolar and I too HATE taking my medications! They make me fat and stupid and shaky.

    But, if I go without them I go from hypomanic right to straight suicidally depressed.

    I had to make the decision to take the medications, take the best things could be, and be satisfied with that.

    It's not easy at all, but you simply CANNOT take ownership of an adult BPer's issues. They are the only ones who can decide to own their illness.
  17. TPaul

    TPaul Idecor8

    Good morning everyone!!!

    Sorry that I have not been on sooner. We actually had a pretty calm weekend around here. The medications seemed to have already help difficult child!! I am taking each moment cautiously, but he had a much calmer and happier weekend. The first without a major flair up by difficult child or wife in a very long time.

    wife's weekend was just a blessing for me because she had no medications to take this weekend, :(. It had just been an amazing coincidence that Candy did not have a melt down this weekend, really!!! She put off going to the clinic to pick up the medications and also going to the pharmacy to get the others for 4 days last week. She had medications till Thursday, but for the rest of the weekend, she just coasted. Gave her money twice for the medications but she spent it on other things. I know that many BiPolar (BP) tend to have money issues, so she does let me control most of the money for the household. When she has not done this she spends hundreds of dollars from her income on non essential things, and then does not have enough left over for obligations. She gets really upset at herself when that happens, to Thank God she lets me help budget her income most of the time.

    Levi, difficult child, dozed off and on at school on Friday and quite a bit here on Saturday. Amazingly I had absolutely no trouble at all getting him to take his medications and even more amazingly not one bit of trouble at bed time. I usually spend up to two hours keeping him in bed, keeping him from getting up for it seems gallons of water to drink, or a endless trip to the little boys room, etc... It was like night and day the difference this weekend. I am almost giddy from it all. I am trying to keep myself ground, though, because I know that there will still be up and down cycles with him, as there is with his mother. I am going to try to get her to ask her doctor to let her try ambilify to though. If this combo keeps working well with difficult child then it might help even better with her. I can always hope can't I !!!! :laugh:

    Hope everyone has a calm day
    T. Paul
  18. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Yes, hope springs eternal... Glad things went well, despite wife's bad timing with the medication supply. We've had that happen as well with husband, although it wasn't nearly as disastrous mood-wise as it was for his seizures.

    Sounds like Levi's medications are helping, at least with his cooperativeness. The sedation is a problem, though. I hope that improves with time for him.

    I also have taken the reins with our finances, with the exception of my first pregnancy when my brain turned to mush. After that, I saw that despite my hormonal fog, I still did a better job than husband did, so I've kept the books, as it were, for the majority of our 21 years. It's just safer that way!
  19. TPaul

    TPaul Idecor8

    Yes, it helps to keep a little money in the bank, lol lol!!! She gets a little upset when in a mania that she does not have money to spend. When she cycles down though, she understands that she spends recklessly and feels bad about it if it happens. Doesn't keep a few choice words from getting said during a mania high, but I am getting better at understanding that it is the BiPolar (BP) talking and to just let it pass.

    T. Paul