Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Making Progress
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 71953" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>It's neither spiteful nor mean. You're not asking too much. When someone hurts you terribly (although I don't know the details of your situation, the feeling of hurt, betrayal, devastation...it's universal), one of the first things that has to happen before you can even think about trusting them again, even one iota, is to see that they understand the effect that their actions had on you. </p><p></p><p>That's what you need from your difficult child and that's why you feel a burning need to keep picking at it. </p><p></p><p>As for whether you should bother, now that's another story. If your difficult child is focused right now on from learning from his offense (again, I don't know the details) and starting to put his life back together, then he's still focused on his needs, not yours.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes saying sorry just isn't enough, feeling remorse just isn't enough, when your difficult children actions have torn your life apart. If you're not ready to accept his apology or you need more from him than that, well that's completely natural, normal and understandable. If he's not ready or capable of understanding that, well then he will have to learn that you're not ready to let him back in yet.</p><p></p><p>It's h*ll, absolute h*ll. For good reason, I haven't shared my full story with the board (paranoia, I suppose...I never know who's lurking or reading), but I have lived through and am living through this sort of thing with my difficult child. I know that he doesn't understand how devastating his actions have been, and that the scars run deep, so I haven't been fully able to reconnect with him.</p><p></p><p>I fear it will take a long time, if it ever happens.</p><p></p><p>Gentle hugs. </p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 71953, member: 3907"] It's neither spiteful nor mean. You're not asking too much. When someone hurts you terribly (although I don't know the details of your situation, the feeling of hurt, betrayal, devastation...it's universal), one of the first things that has to happen before you can even think about trusting them again, even one iota, is to see that they understand the effect that their actions had on you. That's what you need from your difficult child and that's why you feel a burning need to keep picking at it. As for whether you should bother, now that's another story. If your difficult child is focused right now on from learning from his offense (again, I don't know the details) and starting to put his life back together, then he's still focused on his needs, not yours. Sometimes saying sorry just isn't enough, feeling remorse just isn't enough, when your difficult children actions have torn your life apart. If you're not ready to accept his apology or you need more from him than that, well that's completely natural, normal and understandable. If he's not ready or capable of understanding that, well then he will have to learn that you're not ready to let him back in yet. It's h*ll, absolute h*ll. For good reason, I haven't shared my full story with the board (paranoia, I suppose...I never know who's lurking or reading), but I have lived through and am living through this sort of thing with my difficult child. I know that he doesn't understand how devastating his actions have been, and that the scars run deep, so I haven't been fully able to reconnect with him. I fear it will take a long time, if it ever happens. Gentle hugs. Trinity [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Making Progress
Top