Actually, Beth, you've got some good points there. I'm also wondering if HE is suffering from depression - one of the hallmarks of depressions is feeling tired, worn down and exhausted. OK, there can be other causes, but blokes aren't always as well in touch with their feelings.
It's hard to tell if his being exhausted is just him copping out, or genuinely having a problem. And there really is no way to be sure without thorough medical check-ups.
I would call his bluff - "Honey, you shouldn't be so tired. There must be something wrong. You should see a doctor."
Either the doctor will diagnose something physical (or depression), or he will tell him to shape up.
My bet is he will refuse to go to the doctor - it's part of the whole inertia thing. But if he refuses to see the doctor, your NEXT card to play is, "Don't waste your breath talking to ME about how tired you are - you wouldn't do anything about it, so what do you want ME to do? I'm doing enough as it is! Get off that couch, you might find a bit of gentle activity does you the world of good."
And if THAT fails - stop feeding him. He will at least have to get off the couch to go to the fridge to fix himself something, or get another beer. if you take HIM off your list of bodies to care for and clean, then it should ease your workload.
He's big enough and ugly enough to take care of himself. As we say down here.
Seriously, folks - exhaustion from depression is best helped with gentle exercise and some degree of physical activity (a bit of mental activity works, too).
Exhaustion from a physical cause - gentle activity is also a darn good idea to ward off the inevitable depression that can move in and take over. It can also lead to pinpointing faster, what is really wrong. And therefore getting help faster.
If he's overweight, maybe not as young as he used to be (aren't we all?) I would ask, does he snore badly? If he does, then sleep apnoea can often show up as daytime exhaustion - really poor sleep at night due to all those episodes of not enough air, then drowsiness during the day, plus the brain is not recovering properly each night - it needs to be dealt with because it won't get better. You won't like the treatment, though - those CPAP machines can disturb YOUR sleep, assuming he takes it that far, gets one AND uses it.
OK, I'm trying to be nice to the guy. Devils' Advocate. because if you consider ALL these possibilities, you're giving him plenty of rope in your relationship; so if you can see that it STILL can't work out, you will feel more secure in your decisions.
Marg