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Failure to Thrive
Manchild problems
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 704969" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'm so sorry. Maybe you should not let him in the house. Your daughter doesn't need to hear that abuse. Neither do you. Would you put up with his words from anybody else? Nobody has a right to abuse you, and that includes your son.</p><p></p><p>If you feel the need to interact with him, you would probably find that a public place is easier. First of all, then your other family members are not involved, secondly he is likely to tone it down in, say, a crowded coffee shop and lastly you can leave and go right home if he gets out of hand. He does not need to be in your home, which is your safe place and sanctuary. The boyfriend sounds like he only makes thing worse. You don't need him in your home either.</p><p></p><p>You said you feel helpless. We all are helpless. Not one of us can willfully change a legal adult. Accept that you can do nothing. It is a relief when you realize this. If you have a higher power give your son to the higher powet...God, the universe, Mother Nature whatever you believe in your gut. If you have none just let go of his outcome because you have no other option. Release him to himself and hope he one day turns things around. We have serious limits.</p><p> </p><p></p><p>I hope you decide to shield your self and other loved ones from this son unless he gets his act together, which can be a long way off. Luckily you have another child. Please don't get so wound up with this one child that there is no quality time left for her. </p><p></p><p>Do seek help so you can stand strong. Most of us have been in situations similar to yours. And we have learned to take healthy measures to protect ourselves and other loved ones. Be a hero. Be there for husband, daughter...and dearly love yourself because you deserve it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 704969, member: 1550"] I'm so sorry. Maybe you should not let him in the house. Your daughter doesn't need to hear that abuse. Neither do you. Would you put up with his words from anybody else? Nobody has a right to abuse you, and that includes your son. If you feel the need to interact with him, you would probably find that a public place is easier. First of all, then your other family members are not involved, secondly he is likely to tone it down in, say, a crowded coffee shop and lastly you can leave and go right home if he gets out of hand. He does not need to be in your home, which is your safe place and sanctuary. The boyfriend sounds like he only makes thing worse. You don't need him in your home either. You said you feel helpless. We all are helpless. Not one of us can willfully change a legal adult. Accept that you can do nothing. It is a relief when you realize this. If you have a higher power give your son to the higher powet...God, the universe, Mother Nature whatever you believe in your gut. If you have none just let go of his outcome because you have no other option. Release him to himself and hope he one day turns things around. We have serious limits. I hope you decide to shield your self and other loved ones from this son unless he gets his act together, which can be a long way off. Luckily you have another child. Please don't get so wound up with this one child that there is no quality time left for her. Do seek help so you can stand strong. Most of us have been in situations similar to yours. And we have learned to take healthy measures to protect ourselves and other loved ones. Be a hero. Be there for husband, daughter...and dearly love yourself because you deserve it. [/QUOTE]
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