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Failure to Thrive
Manchild problems
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 704976" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Why don't you look at old threads. In the upper right corner of the page you will see "search." As search terms, enter words like guilt, despair, devastated, etc. Every mother here is has been where you are many, many times.</p><p></p><p>What in the world did you do where you should feel guilty? All you are doing now is trying to save his life, your own, and your family.</p><p>Who cares what he thinks? He is off the deep end. What kind of idiot with such a nice mother goes to jail 6 times in a short time? A very confused young man. He is not talking sense. Pretend he is delirious. Because he is.</p><p></p><p>Stop listening to that garbage, that nonsense. You have to decide to STOP. This is a moral position. You are right. He is wrong. Find that place in yourself. I know it is there.</p><p></p><p>Right now, go to a quiet place where you are alone. Pay attention only to your breath. Your breathing in and out. Try to visualize the boundaries of your body as you rest against the bed, chair, sofa. Keep paying attention to breathing in and breathing out. You will feel calmer, safer, more at peace.</p><p></p><p>This will sound airy-fairy but it helps. Most of all stop talking to him for now. He is being destructive and hurtful. No matter how much you love him and how good a person he is intrinsically, he is out of control right now. And you will feel out of control around him. That is his plan.</p><p></p><p>You may be having a little bit of a panic attack. Join the club. You will be OK.</p><p> Stop this, too, please! These kinds of words and thinking only hurts you.</p><p></p><p>All you are doing is setting a limit. Just like you did when he was a toddler. You are containing him to keep him safe, and your family safe. This is not an ending. It is a beginning.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 704976, member: 18958"] Why don't you look at old threads. In the upper right corner of the page you will see "search." As search terms, enter words like guilt, despair, devastated, etc. Every mother here is has been where you are many, many times. What in the world did you do where you should feel guilty? All you are doing now is trying to save his life, your own, and your family. Who cares what he thinks? He is off the deep end. What kind of idiot with such a nice mother goes to jail 6 times in a short time? A very confused young man. He is not talking sense. Pretend he is delirious. Because he is. Stop listening to that garbage, that nonsense. You have to decide to STOP. This is a moral position. You are right. He is wrong. Find that place in yourself. I know it is there. Right now, go to a quiet place where you are alone. Pay attention only to your breath. Your breathing in and out. Try to visualize the boundaries of your body as you rest against the bed, chair, sofa. Keep paying attention to breathing in and breathing out. You will feel calmer, safer, more at peace. This will sound airy-fairy but it helps. Most of all stop talking to him for now. He is being destructive and hurtful. No matter how much you love him and how good a person he is intrinsically, he is out of control right now. And you will feel out of control around him. That is his plan. You may be having a little bit of a panic attack. Join the club. You will be OK. Stop this, too, please! These kinds of words and thinking only hurts you. All you are doing is setting a limit. Just like you did when he was a toddler. You are containing him to keep him safe, and your family safe. This is not an ending. It is a beginning. [/QUOTE]
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