Mania and anxiety don't mix well

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by everywoman, Nov 30, 2007.

  1. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    difficult child has been stressing lately---3 classes at school and working one or two days a week is too much. He doesn't take constructive criticism well because of course he is never today he blew and the result is a large panel missing from the 4 four-panel door to his bedroom. He called and told me. His boss fussed at him because the other workers on his shift didn't do their jobs. He's hooked up with some (in his words)"crazy, dysfunctional chick who after one week calls and says she can't life without me." On his way home some woman cut him off and then pulled in front him and slowed down while yelling in the rearview. Will it ever get any better? Will he ever be able to function in a normal enviroment? Please tell me that I will not have to deal with this when he is 30 or 40. What happens to those who just can't function in the real world?
  2. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Well, he is only 19.........if my son is actually holding down a job, and going to school at 19, I will be amazed! :wink: These kids, just take such a long time to mature. But, I do think he will get the hang of it. If he did not get fired, or go a-wall with the lady on the highway - I think he is doing pretty well. It will all come together for him......just give him a couple of more years. I know, I know, it sounds like an eternity! But it will get here.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Is there any way he can cut down on his class load? I know 3 classes doesn't sound like much, but it depends on the classes he's taking.

    My easy child was taking 3 classes (qualified her as fulltime), working fulltime, and she couldn't figure out why she was the worlds largest grump and was always falling asleep at the drop of a hat. Took her messing up at work to see her load was just too much for one person. Now she's dropped down to working weekends, and cut her classload down.

    Working and going to school takes figuring out what you can handle, and not trying to over reach. Some figure this out quickly and easily, others have to learn the hard way like my easy child did.

  4. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    It does get better as they age. Sometimes medication management can help. Most times, they have to figure out what their triggers are and avoid them. Multi tasking is not really on their plate of skills.

    I do notice a difference from 19 to now 24.

    Sorry....don't have much better news.
  5. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Thanks for the replies. He is better now. Because its the weekend and he can "hang" with his latest best friend. Sometimes I just worry that he will never grow up and be all that he can be because his illness will hinder any chance of success he can have. And no one gets that he is ill...he doesn't look it, most of the time he doesn't act it. He is smart--beyond smart and can socialize well...he is nice looking and unless you see him in the midst of panic attack or a meltdown, you would never believe that he could fall apart the way he does. So the world, for the most part, thinks he is just bad or spoiled. They don't see this 19 year old man calling his mom and crying because he can't handle the little stresses of everyday life.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    He will eventually get it. I didn't think Nichole would. But she's getting it. She even does he own psychiatrist appoints and such now. Step by step she's getting her anxiety under control. Even if sometimes I have to walk her through the process.

    And even she had a hard lesson to learn this quarter. Nichole discovered that they treat you like an ADULT in college! (OMG who would've thought!) :rofl:

    She swears to me that she is going to be spending most of her time studying this next quarter. (with Mom coaching her) I'm not expecting miracles, but will wait and see. Nichole has always had the most trouble in school.