Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Manipulation
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 634921" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>I firmly believe that until you have tried everything you can think of under the sun, you (we) will keep trying, hoping one day something will sink in. I know I did, after all these are the people we love most in the world.</p><p></p><p>My day that I cut the apron string and threw away the apron came after a 3 to 4 month conn where he was trying to finish a semester in college and was homeless. I was jumping through hoops trying to get him money and listening to him tell me he was hungry most of the time, but was studying in the streets to finish this semester.</p><p></p><p>All of it was a lie, he was back with girlie, had dropped out of school and they were partying with MY money. This made me step back and take a very good long look at myself. I thought I had stopped enabling, but I sure fell for that 'I'm hungry and your the only person I have that loves me' manipulation. AGAIN!!!</p><p></p><p>My difficult child has gotten worse after a relationship with another difficult child. She I controlling and he is a follower. Both think the world owes them big time!</p><p></p><p>As I experienced, and I have read over and over from others, once you reach a point of putting you first, they know it, and it can be a very stressful dramatic time. Mine posted death threats on FB, threatened suicide to me, and went no contact for about a year.</p><p></p><p>Now, he still lies about everything, and I only hear from him infrequently with emails. He says he has a job BUT deep down I know him and girlie are panhandling and spending their money on drugs and groupies following their fav band.</p><p></p><p>I lie to most of my family and never discuss it with most. The only people that know the truth are his sister and my husband of 15 years. Close relatives have 40yo difficult child living on their sofa and a 30yo still at home, girlie has moved in with 3 kids and is not working. I'm not doing it, they feel they have to and complain about it none stop!</p><p></p><p>My son was difficult from birth and school was a nightmare from day one. He is gifted and can manipulate and conn the best lol! I can't blame it on girlie BUT together they are much worse than apart. She has convinced him that if I loved him I would be sending him money etc.</p><p></p><p>I do not send gifts any more for Christmas or his birthday. It is really out of my hands as he will not give me an address. I'm positive my son has some mental issues, also positive that the drugs make them worse. We can't help someone that doesn't want help! My 36yo and is 40yo girlie would be very happy living on my sofa with me supporting them. They were living with her mother, but it appears she got tired of it too!</p><p></p><p>This is a sad situation that for some strange reason is affecting more and more parents! Take it one day at a time, and continue to take care of YOU. I think the guilt and the 'what ifs' are the hardest to overcome. The sad days still come, but overall I am MUCH happier and my health issues are under control!</p><p>(((hugs and blessings)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 634921, member: 13558"] I firmly believe that until you have tried everything you can think of under the sun, you (we) will keep trying, hoping one day something will sink in. I know I did, after all these are the people we love most in the world. My day that I cut the apron string and threw away the apron came after a 3 to 4 month conn where he was trying to finish a semester in college and was homeless. I was jumping through hoops trying to get him money and listening to him tell me he was hungry most of the time, but was studying in the streets to finish this semester. All of it was a lie, he was back with girlie, had dropped out of school and they were partying with MY money. This made me step back and take a very good long look at myself. I thought I had stopped enabling, but I sure fell for that 'I'm hungry and your the only person I have that loves me' manipulation. AGAIN!!! My difficult child has gotten worse after a relationship with another difficult child. She I controlling and he is a follower. Both think the world owes them big time! As I experienced, and I have read over and over from others, once you reach a point of putting you first, they know it, and it can be a very stressful dramatic time. Mine posted death threats on FB, threatened suicide to me, and went no contact for about a year. Now, he still lies about everything, and I only hear from him infrequently with emails. He says he has a job BUT deep down I know him and girlie are panhandling and spending their money on drugs and groupies following their fav band. I lie to most of my family and never discuss it with most. The only people that know the truth are his sister and my husband of 15 years. Close relatives have 40yo difficult child living on their sofa and a 30yo still at home, girlie has moved in with 3 kids and is not working. I'm not doing it, they feel they have to and complain about it none stop! My son was difficult from birth and school was a nightmare from day one. He is gifted and can manipulate and conn the best lol! I can't blame it on girlie BUT together they are much worse than apart. She has convinced him that if I loved him I would be sending him money etc. I do not send gifts any more for Christmas or his birthday. It is really out of my hands as he will not give me an address. I'm positive my son has some mental issues, also positive that the drugs make them worse. We can't help someone that doesn't want help! My 36yo and is 40yo girlie would be very happy living on my sofa with me supporting them. They were living with her mother, but it appears she got tired of it too! This is a sad situation that for some strange reason is affecting more and more parents! Take it one day at a time, and continue to take care of YOU. I think the guilt and the 'what ifs' are the hardest to overcome. The sad days still come, but overall I am MUCH happier and my health issues are under control! (((hugs and blessings))) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Manipulation
Top