Manster's Friend Moving to Australia

[ML]

For weeks he's been telling me that one of his best class buddies was moving to "Arizona". He told me he was sad and would miss him. Well I saw a flyer in his backpack today saying there was a sleepover going away party this Friday because the family is moving to "Australia". Big difference lol.

Anyway the standard question is: Do I make him go to the party. He doesn't want to. Not even for a little while. Too many people he doesn't necessarily like (at least not in a group, he's fine with most kids one on one). I worry that he'll be sorry if he's not part of it. He said he would say goodbye in his own way next Friday which is his last day at school.

It's situations like this that always make me wonder how much do I let him stay in his comfort zone. I know for a fact that once he got there and transitioned into the swing of things he would have a good time.

Just wondering what you all think.

Thanks,

ML

 

[klmno]

That's a tough one. I'll be interested in seeing what others think. I don't think I would make him go for the entire party. I probably would try to encourage going for a short period- maybe at the very beginning before everyone gets there and things get too chaotic. If you know the parents at all, maybe you could fill them in and see if there's another convenient time when they could just spend some time together without it being a big party. But, I really think I'd encourage going right when the party is due to start and saying you'll be there to pick him up 30-45 mins later, unless he calls first and says he wants to stay longer. But, if that was causing a great deal of stress, I'd let it go and not push the issue. My son did that about his 7th grade school dance- then, 30 mins before the dance, he changed his mind and decided to go.

 

[Jena]

Hi

Boy this is a tough one. I'm sorry hes losing his friend by the way that can be so hard for our kids.

I'd say cut a deal wtih him, and say i'll bring you to the party and you do not have to stay the entire time. Kinda like what klmno said. Can you bring him and kinda hang for a few till he gets acclimated a bit?? It is very hard knowing when to push and when not to. yet i think on this one unless he was hands down dead set against going i'd push. It's his friend, he may regret it.

How was he going to say good bye next friday?? we're you inviting the boy to your house kinda thing???

 

[klmno]

PS It's amazing what kind of surprising news we can find in our sons' backpacks isn't it?

 

[Kjs]

Maybe you and Manster can just stop over. Bring the friend a little going away gift. Maybe Manster can make something, write something. Include his picture and a funny story to remember. You guys can drop in for a little bit. Together.

Then you can think about visiting Marg...and Manster can see his friend. LOL.

 

[Kjs]

We moved when easy child was 7 years old. He had some really good friends he grew up with. Like Seven friends. We had a going away party at our cottage. It was so much fun. easy child never forgot that, or his friends. He has pictures of the kids. They put together a little book. And to this day (19 years later) he still looks at that book.

 

[TerryJ2]

Arizona/Australia ... same thing. LOL!

Yup, those backpacks are chock full of fun surprises. Each day I survive without covering my hand in unidentifiable goop is a good one.

My personal fave is the $5 fee and release form for a field trip scheduled ... yesterday.

So, I would take him to the friend's for an hr and then leave if he can't handle it. Just forget the overnight part.

 

[ML]

Thanks friends. I emailed the mom who suggested the boys become remain email friends. Manster is happy, so of course mom is too

 

[TerryJ2]

Whew!

 

[totoro]

They are both 120 degrees in the summer!!!
I take K to events, luckily she is still young enough that is not a big deal if I stay and hang out with her still.
So is he going? Or is the keeping in touch going to be OK for him?
That is nice for them, to keep in touch. It will teach him life skills as well. Friendships and geography...

 

[ML]

Totoro we're not going. Manster said he had invited too many people that he didn't like. Basically that just means too many people lol. But he was happy to have the email. He loves the computer and writing so that just might work. Yes, he is already starting to ask about Australia geography and I'm telling him about Marg's weather right now!