Marijuana use

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by slsh, Jul 30, 2008.

  1. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Need a crash course on options here. thank you's use is apparently increasing. Staff is aware but they "can't do anything about it". Quite frankly, they're just about as powerless a bunch of "professionals" as I've ever run into. They've been withholding his $ but that just makes him borrow from peers, which causes all kinds of problems because he can't pay them back because he doesn't get $ (vicious circle), plus he ends up with too much in savings necessitating a big ticket purchase to spend that down, which results in a visit to his friendly neighborhood pawnbroker.

    His MH caseworker (not associated with TLP and equally as fed up as I am with them) has suggested requesting a "10-panel" UA on him - she said usually only 5-panel UAs are done. And then, if he pops positive, to try to get him into a "program".

    husband and I both feel we have to make an effort here to get him out of the mindset that pot (and who knows what else) is okay, but we also think it's ultimately going to be pointless because thank you knows it all and we're just possibly the dumbest parents on the planet. Plus, the kid has already had extensive SA education in prior placements. I just don't see him agreeing to treatment, but we do have to try.

    Do SA programs consider pot use a problem? How do I go about finding a reputable program?

    History of SA on both sides of family. Plus there's the whole self-medicating aspect of it - been there done that with alcohol in my 20s and almost fell into the abyss. I'm extremely worried about him.

    Any suggestions would be appreciated.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I sent you a PM. Hope it helps.

    Hugs and sorry if I rambled a little!

  3. Calgon_Take_Me_Away

    Calgon_Take_Me_Away New Member

    Sorry Sue ~ no suggestions here since I haven't ever dealt with- SA issues. Just wanted to give you *strength vibes* in getting him help.
  4. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    As far as I know any substance abuse program would consider marijuana not good. I guess to find a good program in your area start by calling your local abuse hotline or look on the internet. I believe pot starts it all. My son is 24 and has used since he was 16 - or so he says. It has lead to everything else - he would tell you it doesnt but that is his excuse for continuing to smoke it. We are asking him to leave our house soon - it is so hard but we cant continue to allow him to do that among other things on our property. It is illegal and he has been in legal trouble for it. I consider pot an addictive substance. All the difficult children think it is nothing. They are wrong. Good Luck
  5. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I have no experience with s/a so take my .02 for what it's worth.
    Having an emotionally and mentally challenged kid is different from the functioning s/a user. I don't believe if we can't teach them basic functioning that they will learn from the teachers how to stay drug free. I just don't see it.
    If one looks at your difficult child and sees the way he learns(and we know he does) and teach to thank you the way he learned about Wiccan and whatever topic that he became an expert at, they may get through. I just don't believe that the normal teaching programs click with some difficult child's who have proven over and over that they learn differently.
    On the other hand, he is a dabbler in smoking pot yet. It certainly is the engine that pushes into the drug culture and mentality that makes it all right. It opens the door to even more dangerous drugs and behavior. He isn't the kid who the first beer turned into an alcoholic. If he can have a light bulb moment that you don't get smarter after a drink or getting high maybe he will get it. Most 17yr olds are not able to process that but it's what we have to aim for isn't it?
    Truthfully slsh, it appears that if someone wants to continue a particular behavior that all we can do is teach, reinforce and throw up road blocks to make it more difficult. In the end they will decide that it's worth the effort or the consequences. Nothing parents, staff or teachers do to stop it will work without the difficult child buying into it.
  6. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Sue, what I'm going to say may be inherently obvious, but it sounds as if the TLP isn't giving thank you enough supervision or treatment. If he's self-medicating with pot, then his current medication mix may not be doing enough so I think you'd need to look for a dual-diagnosis treatment program -- one that deals with both the underylying mental illness and the substance-abuse problem.

    His MH caseworker should be able to point you in the right direction.
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So sorry to hear this. I agree with-Smallworld. Sigh.

    Is SA schizoaffective or Seasonal Affective? Sorry, I'm dense.
  8. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    SA = substance abuse
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Here's something I learned recently -

    The marijuana that was around during our day is NOT the same stuff that is around for our kids. I'm no dummy - I've smelled it on Dudes friends and on his best friend. When I questioned it, I got the same twisted faces and looks that we gave our parents for lesser things.

    The point is I spoke with someone who was in the "dealing" business of marijuana. And he said he used to grow, cultivate, sell, smoke - did it all. I said I remembered what the pot smelled like back then and it seemed to smell stronger or be different. And he told me I was right. The stuff that is being grown and sold today is much stronger and some of it is altered with stronger drugs that weren't around 10-20 years ago. Sure - laced pot has been around since the dawn - but this stuff is laced with drugs that weren't available, making it like super weed. So yeah I have a ton of concerns about a kid that is smoking weed. It's about 5x stronger than the stuff of the bygone hippy days. By the way the man is now a minister and counsels kids who are in the same situation he once was and are growing it - so he's got first hand knowledge.

    And road blocks like someone said seem to be the key - The more you throw in their way - and make it harder for him to get it - then you can ask him if all the effort he puts into getting high couldn't be put into getting straight, a job, an education.

    Sue, this place is not taking ANY responsibility for their guardianship of thank you. With their nare do well attitude of "we can't stop him?" Heck - GIVE YOU the money they get for "taking care" of him and at least be ahead financially. And the thing that stinks the biggest is that if you cause too much of a stink - they could send him back home. (I'm going through this "threat" as we speak) And you don't want him home - you just want people that are doing their job to DO their job that they are paid to do.

    Time for a move - if where he is at isn't working? Yup - time for a move. I wouldn't tell them, and I wouldn't tell him either - I'd just make arrangements, tell him the morning OF and off he'd go.

    My thought ? A locked facility where he can NOT have access to dope and if he got it SOMEONE would be made accountable for it.

    I know this stinks - and not like pot either.
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sue...thank you is what? 4 years younger than Cory? You are walking down my same path my friend. I dont know how we stop these kids from using. I lectured, threatened, stood on my head, blocked the doors...just about anything. Has done no good. Its really up to them.
  11. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Sue, honestly I don't believe any SA rehab will admit for "just" pot use. They don't see it as a detrimental drug. been there done that. However, if it affects his mood---and it does, you may be able to find a duel facility that will address both. But, honestly after 3 treatment centers, three arrests, and every other possible treatment I know about, mine still is a pothead---he's a working pothead now---which is a step up from his former self---but...he's still a pothead.
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Star, I didn't know that. Good to know.

    Sue, if he's smoking on their property, does that make them liable? Maybe pointing that out would light a fire under them. Just a thought.