Marine update #3

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by ksm, Nov 1, 2017.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    She just called us, read the script that "recruit XXXX will be returning home in the near future and will notify you of travel arrangements in a few days."

    About as brief as her stay at boot camp. Not surprised. But still disappointed.

    Ksm
     
  2. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Well, it sounds like she's being separated, as opposed to charged with a crime.

    What remains to be seen is if she is being discharged or if this will be one of those cases where it will be as if her enlistment never happened.

    I'm sorry KSM, but this is really what I thought would happen, one way or another.
     
  3. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    KSM
    I felt every word of that message Deep to my very core. How deflating and disappointing.

    I know you have a plan in place not to enable her. Get a tonic in your heart to heal the sadness and gain strength. I somehow feel your going to need it.

    You are not alone.
    :group-hug:
     
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  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry KSM.

    Boy, I understand that disappointment, as LBL said, "down to my very core."

    So often our hopes are so much higher than our kid's abilities to gain altitude.....sigh.....perhaps in the grand scheme of life, she's gained a new perspective which she can use as a big life lesson. I hope she's humbled by it enough to open her mind to new possibilities and begin, with your help in not enabling her, to find her way to being a contributing, functioning, healthy adult. She's still so young, there is so much ahead of her.

    Hang in there KSM. This part will be over and a new chapter will begin. While she's still away, do kind and nourishing things for yourself.

    Many hugs.....
     
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  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry. I know you were hoping for something different.
     
  6. Southern51

    Southern51 New Member

    I’m sorry to read that. I hope she’s gained some insights from this experience, and that she finds her place.
     
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  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry. I know this is disappointing and even heartbreaking. The fact that on some level you were expecting it doesn't make it any easier. At least she tried. If you never try, you never have a chance to succeed. People who never fail have usually never even taken a chance. Eventually she will figure out what she is meant to do with her life. Stay strong and make her work for it. (((((hugs)))))
     
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  8. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    She is going to come home and have to face her "friends" and that is going to sting. I hope she learned something from her experience.

    I agree that you need to do nice things for yourself.
     
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  9. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    So sorry to hear this.
     
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  10. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry ksm. I know the feeling you have in your heart. I felt it when my son failed all his college classes (twice) because he didn't even go. I felt it when he refused to report to go to Job Corps to get his computer certification. I think we all feel it when our kids have a failure that we'd hoped would be a success.
    :group-hug:
     
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  11. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    KSM

    So sorry! We've all been there in one way or another.

    Hopefully she'll move past this and do something positive with her life!

    :dissapointed:
     
  12. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    :faint:Argh. I so hoped that she would hang in there and really give it a good solid effort. What a bummer.
     
  13. Ironbutterfly

    Ironbutterfly If focused on a single leaf you won't see the tree

    I'm so sorry for you. I do believe that her Marine experience made a dent in her life. Just having to leave home, arrive at the base, being yelled at by a drill sarg, everyone getting stripped down to be equal...that is something you never will forget.

    Start thinking about Plan B options for her and you. She needs to get back in the saddle again as soon as possible. she will want to have a pity party, that's ok, as long as it doesn't linger on too long.

    Hugs
     
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  14. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Right now, my Plan B is Job Corp...I called today and talked to an admission counselor. She is sending me a packet of information. So far, the dental technician program is my first choice for her. Approx 10 months of training, free lodging, meals, transportation, uniforms for work or training, medical care. It is 2 hours from us... After the first month, they can go home on weekends.

    Her Plan B? Who knows?
     
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  15. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I truly hope she agrees to go.
     
  16. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    At least there doesn't seem like there will be any legal ramifications, or they wouldn't be sending her home so quickly...

    Ksm
     
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  17. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    job corps is great! (i am sorry ksm for the disappointment. )

    voc rehab provides free voc aptitude and interest testing and counseling. i believe she would qualify for services.

    from what you write she has limitations as well as abilities. a counselor could help elucidate where her interests, motivations, and aptitudes lie. help her decide on a job corps training.

    i decided on nursing for my son. he seemed to buy in. i pushed him to complete a cna course. while he completed it and worked 15 months--that is when he took a turn....

    while i cannot help myself from suggesting i no longer do the thinking as much as i did before. thanks to being here on the site with you guys.
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2017
  18. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    ksm, you are a true warrior mom.
     
  19. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Thanks Pigless, right now we are just waiting for he next phone call. She called her dad on Friday and said she would be home, but would call with details. But nothing for 3 days now... I texted her recruiter and asked if he would check on things today when he went to he office. I think he can access info on computer and have a better idea what's going on.

    I did get mail from her...3 sheets written on different days. First she was still in processing. Sounds like lack of sleep. The nex was after her first physical test. She said she passed everything but the last, which was a 1.5 mile run. She was 45 seconds over the cut off. Then she was moved in to the physical conditioning group, and the the next letter was when things fell apart.

    She admitted to not being mentally capable to get thru boot camp, that most the females in her unit were ones who got injured during boot camp, and had terrible attitudes. I know she will say that she admitted to drug use just to get out. But younger sis had already confided to me two months ago that she had taken ecstasy the night younger sis got out of rehab.

    I don't think she is an active drug user...but had been experimenting. She has not failed drug tests that the recruiting group uses. She seems to be regretful...

    I doubt that she will be interested in Job Corp... She will probably go back to couch surfing...but we will stand firm about her getting on track, job, school, or volunteering before we will be willing to help her.

    I think her Plan B is to wait for her guy friend to get out of boot camp and try to live with him, which probably won't work unless he has off base lodging.

    Crossing my fingers... Ksm
     
  20. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    No, it wont work. The only way for him to have on base housing outside the barracks is to be married.