Marine update #3

[A dad]

I always wondered for people with bipolar or worse do they not need to be forced to feel different on how they used to feelings with medication first so they accept medication?
So you do not get in an catch 22 or whatever the name?
Since you are sick if you could function and do the right decisions and actions without medication then you are not really sick then right? Willpower has an limit after all.

 

[BusynMember]

To Jabber and all (medication explanation) I have a mood disorder and did trial and error to see what made me feel normal. It usually takes time to find the right medications. Bipolar medications (mood stabilizers) made me a zombie. I couldnt move much or think. That is NOT how you are supposed to feel on bipolar medications, but people can. Antidepressants help me. A lot. Saved my life, in fact. But mood stabilizers made me feel like I was out of reality, in a dream. It was scary. So medications CAN make you feel worse, if it isnt the right ones. But the right ones csn be lifesaving. You need patience.

 

[recoveringenabler]

Quite a few of my family members struggle with bi-polar. If anyone is interested, a really great book is An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness by Kay Redfield Jamison. Dr. Jamison is a Psychiatrist and also struggles with bi-polar, she describes the illness well. Once you read it, it's easier to understand why so many are not medication compliant. Her other book, Touched with Fire, explains the connection between bi-polar and creativity. KSM, it may be worth reading both books for you to gain a unique understanding of the disease as written by someone who has it. Your granddaughter may enjoy them as well. The books helped me to better understand my family members.

 

[Jabberwockey]

Once you read it, it's easier to understand why so many are not medication compliant.

A former friend who is bi-polar once told us that a huge part of the reason that she had trouble being medication compliant was because that while she was on the high she felt it justified the low. Then, of course, while she was on the low she saw no point in even trying.

Yes SWOT, I've heard several describe the effects as making them zombies. There's a reason they call it the Thorazine shuffle.

 

[Lil]

while she was on the high she felt it justified the low

Yep. This woman was my best friend, introduced Jabber and I, stood up at our wedding, babysat our child - while medicated. When she decided to stop her medications she ran off with the car I cosigned and cost us $3,000 to pay it off, as well as having discovered she had gotten a credit card in my name and run up thousands of dollars in debt...No longer my friend.

BUT, point is she told me more than once that the UP's were like a high - that they felt so good that it was worth the lows. The only reason she stayed medicated as long as she did was for her daughter, who, once she was old enough, was no longer a valid reason I guess.

Another friend of mine described waking up in the hospital (her brother put her in during a "down" and she'd immediately flipped to manic - so the doctor's clearly got a look at both) and feeling "slow". She said she told the doctor she didn't feel depressed...but felt like everything was moving in slow motion. His response was, "J---, that's NORMAL. What you feel right now is what you're supposed to feel like. Not speeding around at 100 mph, not depressed and down."

 

[BusynMember]

I only had a few episodes of mania and they were not full mania. I felt great but did not run out and have sex in bars, which is common with full mania, nor did I buy things galore, another symptom.

But I felt glorious. I wanted to feel that middling high forever. I totally get the lure of the high. It's drugs without drugs.

But in the end, I wanted to be normal and medications control the torture of severe depression. But mood stabilizers are not for me. I want to feel normal, not like an emotionless zombie. That isnt normal. Thats feeling drugged, just as if one were taking street drugs. There can be hideous side effects too.

I wont ever take a mood stabilizer. When I was 23 and spent ten weeks in a very good univesity psychiatric hospital, they gave me Thorazine to see if it helped me. It made me dull and foggy and even more depressed. I declined more. Nowadays they have Risperdal, Zyprexa, etc. But I wouldnt take them either. I like not being depressed, but I like to be myself too. I actually like me. Any drug that takes away my ability to be me is not happening.
It is individual to all, but I believe it when people say certain medications make them zombies and I dont blame anyone for rejecting medications that wipe out their personalities. It takes time to find helpful medications that dont zombie you out.

 

[Jabberwockey]

I dont blame anyone for rejecting medications that wipe out their personalities. It takes time to find helpful medications that dont zombie you out.

I have no issue with this either as long as they continue to seek a treatment that works for them.

 

[BusynMember]

I agree, Jabber. Refusig treatment, medications included, was never an option to me. I get irritated at the mentally ill who refuse all medications and therapy then wonder why they are still depressed and whine about their depression.

To those with mood problems/depression: Never give up on yourself and if you need medications, take them! Something will work. It just takes time. You want your kids to get help. You should too!

 

[ksm]

We have an appointment with her previous psychologist on Dec. 5th. I think D c enjoyed all the attention from the recruiter, got a lot of positive feedback from family and friends, and it added to her "high".

She came home with a sprained ankle...which she did not report to Marines, as she felt they would keep her longer. I took her to the walk in (limp in!) clinic. Xrays negative. They gave her am ankle brace. I wonder how much insurance will pay? I am sure she never thinks of things like that.

Yesterday, her older brother called and tried to encourage her to go back to marines or college. At age 8 he was placed with bio dad, at about the same time as we got custody of the girls. She was snarky and remarked that she wasn't lucky enough to have a dad who paid for college.

That really ticked me off! I have tried since her senior year to get her to take ACT/SAT tests, complete FASFA application, enroll in just one class! She will never follow thru. DGS went to a community college for a year, now in second year at state university. He is not a gifted student. He has to work hard. Something his sisters don't want to do.

I have told DGDs that I will reimburse them for any classes they take and pass. We are not rich, but we have put money back to cover legitimate costs if they want to further their education. (But it's not money that we will just hand over at a specific age.). If they really are "adulting I would be happy to help.

I will not subsidize someone who us not willing to work and contribute to society.

Ksm

 

[Jabberwockey]

I think D c enjoyed all the attention from the recruiter, got a lot of positive feedback from family and friends, and it added to her "high".

Hadn't thought about that but yeah, that's probably fairly accurate.

She came home with a sprained ankle...which she did not report to Marines, as she felt they would keep her longer.

Yes, they would have. They wont release you till you're healthy. A gentleman in my Company found this out the hard way when I was stationed in Okinawa. He was scheduled to release right after our deployment ended. About three months into our six month stay he got pissed at one of the vending machines when it didn't dispense the beer he'd paid for so he tipped it towards him and tried to shake the beer loose. He tipped too far and dropped it on his feet, breaking them both quite badly. If memory serves, that little stunt extended his tour of service by about a year.