Same here - PM me for more info, if the mods are cool with it. However, where are you based? Are you wanting people only from the US, or would other countries also be relevant for you?
For husband & me, our marriage is solid but it takes a lot of hard work constantly. The biggest management strategy is communication. Then comes cooperation and teamwork; then humour. You can't have humour without the rest because then you have chaos and humour turns to hysteria and panic.
We've found this site has been invaluable for all of the above, especially when both partners either lurk here or contribute.
It's still not a bed of roses, we still have problems to deal with on a daily basis, but if we weren't working together we would be struggling much more with our children.
If the difficult child is adopted, then to a certian extent it's easier to not take any 'blame' personally. But when it's your bio child, there is always a sense of "where did this come form? Whose genes are responsible?" which can also get in the way of a good relationship between partners. In our family, we have taken the position that there is genetic input from both sides, probably Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) from both sides, so we can't use the "He's YOUR kid!" in any way. They're OUR kids, we both contributed equally. Along with the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) contribution from both sides of the family, there is also genius input form both sides.
Good with the bad. No blame, no comparisons. Just a need to cope as a team, from day to day.
As I said - PM me if it all is OK.
Marg
