marriage counselor said..

Jena

New Member
i know we all deal with-way too much and cope thru it. Yet i have to be honest as i stood in my backyard just 8 mos. ago smiling and happy on my wedding day i truly had no idea what was in store for me. its been so much this year between him, easy child running away and blowing and losing it, difficult child getting so sick two hospitals in diff states. than my mother disowning me 2 weeks ago via email in facebook, my crazy father passing away and no one telling me. it's been the year of all climactic situations that are coming to a head, one by one. maybe i'll look back in two years and say boy it was a hard year yet it's so good it all happened look at my life now!

i haven't been able to cry for two weeks, lol sounds funny yet i haven't. been numb strong somewhat happy. than this morning really early after i only slept 4 hours and had to drive easy child to school i returned laid in bed to try and close my eyes and the tears finally came. it was a good release. now i'm back to numb again though lol and just shaking my head.

i truly hope next year at this time my life's different better happier easy child graduated difficult child still improving. i think i'm so afraid to stimy the work i've progress i've made with her by ending this marriage creating a huge shift in her ilfe. yet being with someone like this is so unhealthy. wedding pics are all over the house we just ordered them 3 weeks ago, their hanging in living room all over the place. its all just soo grose yuck....... and now difficult child acclimating to life again a little bit i'm stuck here regardless where my future brings me with this. i'm stuck ina town with him and his ex. yuck again :)
 

svengandhi

Well-Known Member
Do you think that part of difficult child's MO, even subconsciously, is to break up your marriage so that she will be your primary focus of attention?
 
M

ML

Guest
Just wrote a long post and then read what is really going on and decided it wasn't well informed and deleted. Please know I'm pulling for you. You have had an extremely difficult year. Blessings and hugs.
 

DaisyFace

Love me...Love me not
Jen, I get where you are at. I think many of us come to a place with our marriages where we have to accept that they aren't perfect and find ways to look hard for the good in them and make the best with what we have. It will always be a mixed bag, but where will you focus? Everyone has good points on compromise and certainly that is always a good thing.

I agree! I always joke with husband that our marriage is so good because we keep our "rose-colored glasses on" all the time, and over the years, I've had to go out and get thicker lenses.
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
As a CD family member I will offer support when I can. on the other hand (I promise for the last time) I have to reiterate that making major life choices when you are surrounded by chaos is not good timing. Nobody can have so many major problems with their children and appropriately address the fallout that will result from disrupting the household. You did not marry a bad man. From everything you have written he is a good father to his children and has been supportive and present for your daughters. The kids will no longer have the home they know, the full time presence of their Mom, access to the insurance protection they need or the sense of safety that comes from knowing they have Dad and Mom to help them. The stakes are extremely high and potentially life changing. On a weighted scale of staying vs. leaving...I hope you don't shut the door

That said for the last time, I wish you well. Really! DDD
 

Jena

New Member
DDD reading that made me laugh..... i know your hearts always always in the right place. i never take offense preach on. Daisy ok i was weak laughing about the rose colored glasses thing lol.

i wasn't planning on making any life changing decisions, yet this man wants a wife whether hes hanging with the ex on phone or not, in everyway and playing roomates just wont' work for him. so it comes to a head. yes everything with the girls is seemingly beginning to come together it seems. difficult child is showing improvement, we haven't added in lamictal as of yet her existing rash is back. heading to dr to get cream. easy child had court today that part sover and bck in therapy. it's been a little over 2 mos i think since home and it's taken me this long to get some appearance of control over my household. WOW. yet i'll tell you continuously filling my cup up throughout sure does help
 
H

HaoZi

Guest
Jena, I don't have any advice at this point, just wanted to let you let know I've been following this since it was posted and I support you.
 

Steely

Active Member
As a CD family member I will offer support when I can. on the other hand (I promise for the last time) I have to reiterate that making major life choices when you are surrounded by chaos is not good timing. Nobody can have so many major problems with their children and appropriately address the fallout that will result from disrupting the household. You did not marry a bad man. From everything you have written he is a good father to his children and has been supportive and present for your daughters. The kids will no longer have the home they know, the full time presence of their Mom, access to the insurance protection they need or the sense of safety that comes from knowing they have Dad and Mom to help them. The stakes are extremely high and potentially life changing. On a weighted scale of staying vs. leaving...I hope you don't shut the door

That said for the last time, I wish you well. Really! DDD

Ditto - and hugs
 
Top