hi so yea me and my marriage i sat there last night, husband tense again and we did a 2 hour talk. i said to him i think we need to write this down, because things between you and i seem so off, maybe they've always been off inbetween the good times. i just dont' know. he's always very frustrated lately. i think for a multitude of reasons, financial is huge right now also in process of a new owner coming on board at the store. store isnt' doing well. so i had him and i both write a list of what we want from this marriage, what things truly upset us about the other. well let me just say his list made me choke lol. it was soooo long. than i was like uh oh great idea, now what? he kept saying how stupid it was i said do you want to make this better the counseling isn't helping? than we wrote a list of all the things we like about the other person, etc. i said maybe we should pick two things from the list of things we want or change and work on those. so we did. i hope this wasnt'a stupid idea, we'll see how it goes. it just seems a bit overwhelming right now. he's so unhappy with me. i'm not too thrilled with him, we smile through our dinners together with kids. it actually was good last night we joked with kids and all. i sat back though and thought should marriage be this hard? one should never try to change the other person, it's about loving eachother for who we are. so as i looked at both lists there were def. a few things that for me is changing me a bit and same for him. yet mostly was alot of bad habits we've formed thru the years. thoughts??