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Marriage stressed/failing/failed........PARENTING
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<blockquote data-quote="nvts" data-source="post: 56879" data-attributes="member: 3814"><p>Listen: YOU HAVE TO SEE SOMEONE ABOUT THIS DEPRESSION!!!! Until you do, you are going to be beating yourself up about what you did wrong, what made YOU change, what the kids did, what YOU did to have him not love you anymore, what YOU did to "have him cheat on you, etc.</p><p></p><p>Look: I had the same situation, and that's probably why I'm so passionate about your problems. I got the same line of crap about "I don't know if I love you anymore, blah, blah, blah." Whether or not there was physical cheating, I'm not sure, but there certainly was emotional cheating that went on.</p><p></p><p>I spent an entire summer alone in the house with 2 difficult child's and a daughter who was mimicing her brothers behavior. </p><p></p><p>We had a confrontation the day before our anniversary (13th) and very slowly worked things out. Sure, I'm still sceptical and suspicious every now and again, but I deserved better and eventually demanded such.</p><p></p><p>You're not ready for that yet...YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THE DEPRESSION!!! Depression is so prevalent in women with difficult child's. I think because we lack respite and support from our spouses, significant others, family, and communities. But the most dangerous thing is that depression will feed on you like a tapeworm and will diminish you as a person. Once you get some medications. and some counseling, you will soon be the person not necessarily that you were, but someone you can love and respect. </p><p></p><p>This guy sounds like he's going through a major mid-life crisis and he may not even recognize that HE's the loser in this situation. Once lines were drawn in the sand, mine woke up and works every day (not always successfully)<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /> to try to do something to show me that he values me. </p><p></p><p>Keep in mind: until you get some help, you are limiting your children's ability to love you the way that they need to. They already love you as a Mom, now they need to love you as the clearly beautiful, caring, intelligent woman that you are. </p><p></p><p>Talk to your doctor. If you believed that your child suffered from depression, you wouldn't hesitate to make the call...do it for yourself and your kids. </p><p></p><p>You ask "how does a woman live this way?". I'll tell you: at first that phrase "I don't love you anymore" is gut wrenching and terrible. You're sad, your depressed, frightened, but then the anger kicks in. How dare he find the time to mess around on you, rather than step up to the plate with the kids. How dare he defile the sanctity of your relationship. How dare he take the immature route of explaining away HIS <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />-up by laying it at your feet. Keep in mind: He cheated on you, not the other way around.</p><p></p><p>Since you are suffering from depression, stress, exhaustion and anxiety...get help with the depression since this feeds all of the other feelings (usually symptoms of depression).</p><p></p><p>Keep us posted. I'm sorry if I seemed a little rough, but your husband is REALLY TICKING ME OFF!!! :grrr:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nvts, post: 56879, member: 3814"] Listen: YOU HAVE TO SEE SOMEONE ABOUT THIS DEPRESSION!!!! Until you do, you are going to be beating yourself up about what you did wrong, what made YOU change, what the kids did, what YOU did to have him not love you anymore, what YOU did to "have him cheat on you, etc. Look: I had the same situation, and that's probably why I'm so passionate about your problems. I got the same line of crap about "I don't know if I love you anymore, blah, blah, blah." Whether or not there was physical cheating, I'm not sure, but there certainly was emotional cheating that went on. I spent an entire summer alone in the house with 2 difficult child's and a daughter who was mimicing her brothers behavior. We had a confrontation the day before our anniversary (13th) and very slowly worked things out. Sure, I'm still sceptical and suspicious every now and again, but I deserved better and eventually demanded such. You're not ready for that yet...YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THE DEPRESSION!!! Depression is so prevalent in women with difficult child's. I think because we lack respite and support from our spouses, significant others, family, and communities. But the most dangerous thing is that depression will feed on you like a tapeworm and will diminish you as a person. Once you get some medications. and some counseling, you will soon be the person not necessarily that you were, but someone you can love and respect. This guy sounds like he's going through a major mid-life crisis and he may not even recognize that HE's the loser in this situation. Once lines were drawn in the sand, mine woke up and works every day (not always successfully):D to try to do something to show me that he values me. Keep in mind: until you get some help, you are limiting your children's ability to love you the way that they need to. They already love you as a Mom, now they need to love you as the clearly beautiful, caring, intelligent woman that you are. Talk to your doctor. If you believed that your child suffered from depression, you wouldn't hesitate to make the call...do it for yourself and your kids. You ask "how does a woman live this way?". I'll tell you: at first that phrase "I don't love you anymore" is gut wrenching and terrible. You're sad, your depressed, frightened, but then the anger kicks in. How dare he find the time to mess around on you, rather than step up to the plate with the kids. How dare he defile the sanctity of your relationship. How dare he take the immature route of explaining away HIS :censored:-up by laying it at your feet. Keep in mind: He cheated on you, not the other way around. Since you are suffering from depression, stress, exhaustion and anxiety...get help with the depression since this feeds all of the other feelings (usually symptoms of depression). Keep us posted. I'm sorry if I seemed a little rough, but your husband is REALLY TICKING ME OFF!!! [img]:grrr:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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