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Marriage stressed/failing/failed........PARENTING
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<blockquote data-quote="Kjs" data-source="post: 57430"><p>I can totally relate. If it wasnt a financial situation I would be gone. I also feel difficult child deserves better. I WAS a single mom, many years ago. It was hard, but I was happy. I see now that many of difficult child's mood swings coincide with MY mood. He hears us argue, he unfortunately is aware of our financial situation. He worries we will lose our home. He worries about each of us. We have no family to turn to. He has no place to go, nor do I. If we were going to split, we would each have to make it on our own. We are recovering from job loss and great financial distress in the recent past. Glad to say we are on our way to recovery. The process is slow and hard. I often debate with myself the two issues you have stated.</p><p>the Children deserve better. But you are not happy.</p><p></p><p>When you think very hard, would your children be happier if YOU were happy? Isn't this all about what is best for our children? </p><p>Isn't their happiness the goal?</p><p></p><p>I can say those things, unfortunately I cannot act on it at this time. Hoping that by the time we are financially able TO act on it that something will come and save our marriage. For now, I am making decisions for myself and difficult child. husband is a big boy and can make his own decisions. I tell him when we are going up north/vacation and if he chooses to join us he will. He hasn't in the past. I gave him a list of phone numbers for the dr.'s and he can make his own appointments. Tired of doing so and begging him to go, only to have him cancel. Does he affect me? Oh yes. I LET him and it angers me that I do so. That is my goal at this time, to NOT become engaged in an arguement with husband. To not blame myself when it is husband's choices. To keep difficult child out of the adult loop.</p><p>Amazing how you can talk directly to difficult child and he cannot hear you, yet when he isn't even in the room he hears everything.</p><p>I feel for you. The harder you try, the more stressful it becomes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kjs, post: 57430"] I can totally relate. If it wasnt a financial situation I would be gone. I also feel difficult child deserves better. I WAS a single mom, many years ago. It was hard, but I was happy. I see now that many of difficult child's mood swings coincide with MY mood. He hears us argue, he unfortunately is aware of our financial situation. He worries we will lose our home. He worries about each of us. We have no family to turn to. He has no place to go, nor do I. If we were going to split, we would each have to make it on our own. We are recovering from job loss and great financial distress in the recent past. Glad to say we are on our way to recovery. The process is slow and hard. I often debate with myself the two issues you have stated. the Children deserve better. But you are not happy. When you think very hard, would your children be happier if YOU were happy? Isn't this all about what is best for our children? Isn't their happiness the goal? I can say those things, unfortunately I cannot act on it at this time. Hoping that by the time we are financially able TO act on it that something will come and save our marriage. For now, I am making decisions for myself and difficult child. husband is a big boy and can make his own decisions. I tell him when we are going up north/vacation and if he chooses to join us he will. He hasn't in the past. I gave him a list of phone numbers for the dr.'s and he can make his own appointments. Tired of doing so and begging him to go, only to have him cancel. Does he affect me? Oh yes. I LET him and it angers me that I do so. That is my goal at this time, to NOT become engaged in an arguement with husband. To not blame myself when it is husband's choices. To keep difficult child out of the adult loop. Amazing how you can talk directly to difficult child and he cannot hear you, yet when he isn't even in the room he hears everything. I feel for you. The harder you try, the more stressful it becomes. [/QUOTE]
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