Matt continues to spiral downwards

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Steely, Oct 16, 2009.

  1. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Matt has had another massive meltdown. Not sure if he has runaway, and it will be a repeat of 2 weeks ago, or if he will just go to another part of the program for a couple of days to calm down.

    The treatment team and I have been going around and around all week. They have been horrible to me - but yesterday I received apologies from them. I guess we are all stressed and reacting, despite them being "professionals".

    I think we reached a compromise on a new plan of action for Matt. But when he was presented the revised program today he lost it. I don't the right thing to do anymore. I am so lost with this. So tired. So sad for him, so sad that life is this hard for him.
  2. It is good that they apologized to you. You are their customer paying the bill. They should pay you some respect.

    When I researched options for my daughter some of the programs in Idaho mentioned that they used a wilderness program they owned as an option for clients acting out. Have they mentioned this?

    What is his options if he leaves the program?
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry, Steely. Keeping you both in my prayers.
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Steely, I'm so sorry.

    I'm wondering if Matt has undergone any psychological (NOT cognitive) testing recently. This would tell you how emotionally "sturdy" he is and whether he can withstand the emotional rigors of the program you're putting him through. Before we sent our son J to wilderness over the summer and then to his Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in Utah this fall, he underwent this type of psychological testing; the psychologist told us J was emotionally sturdy and unlikely to have a psychotic break. That was very important to us because we didn't want to inflict more emotional damage. And the psychologist was right: J thrived in wilderness, and he seems also to be doing well at his Residential Treatment Center (RTC).

    I worry that the program may not be meeting Matt's needs if he keeps melting down. Do you have any idea what the problem seems to be?

    Hugs to you. I can only imagine how exhausted you are.
  5. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    You know Smallworld, you have a really good point. I think I will ask the doctors to do that.

    The main problem seems to be that Matt wants to go to the next phase, transition, and for whatever reason that path seems impossible to him. He thinks he cannot obtain the goals they have set before him. The treatment team re-did his goals to make them more obtainable, but at this point he is still in mental state where he finds everything impossible.

    He did make it to the program's "stabilization" unit today without a visit to phosph or the police being involved, which is a relief. But I also wonder where he is at mentally, and how much more he can take. The doctors seem to think he is fully capable, but I don't know, as I am not there and observing.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I like smallworlds suggestion Steely. I'm seriously wondering if Matt is emotionally stable enough for the program at the moment. And it doesn't sound like their doing a very good job at meeting his needs.

    Praying hard for Matt.

  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Awwww Steely Iknow what you are going through. I hope things get easier for Matt. -RM
  8. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I too like that they apologized.
    And you sound calm, under very difficult circumstances...which is most excellent.
    I don't like it when boarding schools are too quick to send a child back to wilderness, but perhaps there is a time and place for it and repeated problems might be a good reason.
    Is there a psychiatrist reviewing his case and/or medication? Might a change in medications be warranted?
    I suppose if that is as it should be and he is receiving good therapy, it really is largely a matter of motivation.
    In the mean time, do what you can to keep yourself in a good's for the best all around.
  9. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I talked to the Dr about the psychiatric test, and he said he would be glad to do it. However, he has known the ups and downs of Matt for a year now, and he truly thinks this problem is a behavioral issue, not chemical or a lack of psychological functioning. I actually tend to agree with him, however, if things continue downwards, I will request it.

    I think the most important thing in this scenario is that the program is not giving up on Matt. He is been kicked out of so many schools, and programs, that I truly think part of this is Matt trying to get kicked out again to prove what a failure he is. Dr U does not want to give up, in fact, he has seen what Matt can do in the past - and Dr U seems to truly believe in him.

    Let us hope it continues this way. When he is in stabilization he is completely removed from society, in a cabin, without electronics, just one on one with staff. I have no idea how is doing, so I will know more tomorrow. I assume it is not the end of the world, or I would have gotten a phone call. I can only hope Matt is finding peace and calm.