I don't even know if I can fully comprehend this new fact about Matt. I am still in shock. The program called me today to tell me he is back on the stabilization unit, because he has been threatening and not working the program, and............that he has been busted for smoking weed. I am just really unsure on how to even process this. I just felt so sure he would not use drugs since he watched what his father went through. He always said he would never do drugs. And he never has. And now, on top of being bi-polar, and a butt head, and letting his whole life cascade out of control...........he has decided he will smoke pot. Seriously. I am done. I don't even know how to feel or what to say. I think Holmes' quote in my sig attests to every feeling I have right now. As much as I want to give up hope - I cannot - and I will not - yet I want to, just to be free from the burden of it.