maybe a little Occupational Therapist (OT) - how much makeup for 13 yo?

[ksm]

QOUTE- her mom sent her and her sisters to a make up artist when they were 15 or 16 and got them lessons on how to do their make up tastefully and well for their birthday present. That seems like a very good present.

I probably couldn't afford a real pro... but there is a cosmetology school here in town and they charge student prices... maybe I can afford to go there - and have a little talk with the person who is scheduled to do the makeup. Maybe get them to stress the difference between a school look and a party look... Thanks, I had thought about the Dillard's make up counter - but then I would feel like I had to buy products. KSM

 

[Wiped Out]

We lucked out with the make-up thing. I don't wear much (none in the summer) and easy child/difficult child used quite a bit but always managed to use it well, no thanks to me! The only thing was that she looked so much older. The funny thing is she now refuses to wear make up of any kind (don't know what happened) and she looks so young that when she was asking for applications managers were asking if she was 16!

 

[DDD]

Is there any chance that she would "observe" the girls who are most successful in her school? Around here it is really unusual for heavy or unusual makeup to be used by anyone except for those who are seeking attention...which usually results in negative attention. When I raised the four girls in the prior generation makeup wasn't an issue but in the 2000 teen group it rather divides the "ins" and the "outs". Depending on how much of a difficult child she is..perhaps she would see that it's not good to look like you are screaming for attention with makeup or clothing.

Regarding the "hairless" topic...I can't believe that trend. Where to heck did it come from? How do young kids even come to see that as standard grooming? It has just been in the past year or two that I have learned that "most" girls do that when they are older. When easy child/difficult child shared that waxing and shaving were standard grooming acts I honestly thought he was pulling my chain! If I were fifty years younger and in my prime...I would not include that in my "must do" list. Eh Gods! DDD

 

[AnnieO]

DDD - O has been doing this since age 10... It's not even "older"... Personally, I find it a PITA and annoying. husband is lucky if I shave my legs once a week in the summer and every 2-3 in the winter...

Unfortunately it is related to the early sexualization of our kids... And... The whole "little girl" look is horrible and popular... It's just creepy.

 

[keista]

DDD, a word of caution about the "observation technique" That goes by the assumption that difficult child would choose the RIGHT girls to observe. Too often not the case with kids. The right girls aren't always the "cool" girls.

I know for a fact that my easy child cousin WANTED to be a difficult child. Fortunately my aunt noticed her trying to fit in with the wrong crowd and started over-scheduling her into positive activities, like ballet, to connect with positive peers.

 

[timer lady]

ksm, the makeup thing made me crazy. My take with kt was to take her to a makeup counter. I called ahead of time & talked to one of the consultants & explained the situation. She agreed to work with kt, not push products & help show kt healthy age appropriate tips on applying makeup.

The consultant told kt that she had beautiful skin & shouldn't cover her natural beauty rather accentuate it. No foundation, blush, lip gloss. kt rarely wears eye shadow tho the consultant taught kt what shades she should use given her coloring & eye color. Let me tell you, it took for kt. This was a professional telling kt the ins & outs of makeup.

The consultant was a mum & didn't push products I couldn't afford or wouldn't buy. I did buy kt the mascara that the consultant used as it was on sale.

If you choose this route, call ahead.

 

[ksm]

DDD, a word of caution about the "observation technique" That goes by the assumption that difficult child would choose the RIGHT girls to observe. Too often not the case with kids. The right girls aren't always the "cool" girls.

Unfotunately, she thinks the girls that are popular and pretty are the ones I think look like underage street walkers. Also, she wears a size zero - and was skipping breakfast at school as she "didn't want to gain weight" We had a talk about how if you don't eat - then when your body does get food it wants to save all the calories instead of use them up. Boy, I would have killed to look like her in junior high - and it still isn't good enough for her!

She had toned down the make up this morning... maybe playing with the eyelash curler was enough to stop the five layers of black mascara! And she looked nice in her jeans and long skinny tshirt. She even picked out nice small dangly earrings that matched the color of her top. Maybe there is hope!! KSM

 

[AnnieO]

Dangly earrings... OMG... My jr-hs and hs days are creeping back...

 

[ksm]

Dangly earrings... OMG... My jr-hs and hs days are creeping back...

I didn't get pierced ears until I was 21! Scared of needles! By small dangly ones - they were probably 1" long and about 1/4th inch wide. Not like the three inch hoops with charms hanging down on the first day. Unfortunately, she is at the age that she has a few bucks to spend, and will buy things I consider inappropriate for 13yo when I am not around. KSM

 

[keista]

Also, she wears a size zero - and was skipping breakfast at school as she "didn't want to gain weight" We had a talk about how if you don't eat - then when your body does get food it wants to save all the calories instead of use them up.

I am the poster child for that! I started skipping breakfast in 3rd grade and skipping breakfast AND lunch in 6th. Still have a hard time eating in the mornings, but shovel in the food at night (they are actually thinking of putting this in the new DSM as recognized eating disorder) I've butted into girls having such conversations with their moms on supermarket lines. I look the girl right in the eyes and say. "Keep it up if you want, but you'll end up looking like me." Hopefully the fear I see in their eyes is enough to get them to listen to mom.