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Maybe I have been in denial
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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 38987" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>Wendy,</p><p></p><p>I have a couple questions. What kind of accomodations, assistance, etc., does difficult child get on her IEP? And another, is it homework, classwork, tests, class participation, projects.....that are leading to her failing grades? Kids at your difficult child's age are generally lazy. Sure, there are some that are self-motivated with their "eyes on the prize", but for the most part you do have to keep on them to a degree.</p><p></p><p>Just wondering if there were particular areas that cause the failing grades. Since you have us an average, are all her grades really bad, or just certain subjects?</p><p></p><p>It's not abnormal for a child, especially one who has had difficulties in the past with home life, to wish for college and/or freedom. Perhaps it's reality check time. Ask difficult child to go online with you one evening. Ask her which college or university she would be interested in attending. Then, go on the school website and look up the admission pages. Look at the average SAT scores (did she take the PSATs this year?) for freshman students and the average grade point average in high school (I did this over Christmas break with easy child so she would know what she has to work for). Ask her if she is even close. Just give her something to think about without conflict or argument.</p><p></p><p>Then the next day ask her if she has thought about the fact that she wouldn't be able to get into the college of her choice with her current grades. Ask if she understands what the other options are. Part time community college with a fulltime job to pay for apartment?</p><p></p><p>Perhaps she can just think about it for a little while.</p><p></p><p>Confrontation does nothing - I know you know you that.</p><p></p><p>If she cannot handle the schoolwork without your involvement, perhaps you will have to become involved again. She may need you to guide her into an established/scheduled homework hour. If she doesn't have an hours worth of homework, she could do what she has then read or the two of you could spend the rest of time talking. Would it be reinforced at dad's house?</p><p></p><p>We still have homework time at my house. When easy child is not working, she's right there with us at the dining room table. If I left her alone, she would start it at 10 at night and then work until she fell asleep. I know that's typical teen stuff, but I try to help with the study habits and hope they truly become habits!</p><p></p><p>Wendy, difficult child has made a lot of progress over the last couple years. The fact that she has anxiety could have been the knowledge that you would find out about her grades or she could be feeling pressure at school.</p><p></p><p>Has she ever been tested for any lds?</p><p></p><p>Sorry this is so long, but I was trying to cover all the bases.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 38987, member: 805"] Wendy, I have a couple questions. What kind of accomodations, assistance, etc., does difficult child get on her IEP? And another, is it homework, classwork, tests, class participation, projects.....that are leading to her failing grades? Kids at your difficult child's age are generally lazy. Sure, there are some that are self-motivated with their "eyes on the prize", but for the most part you do have to keep on them to a degree. Just wondering if there were particular areas that cause the failing grades. Since you have us an average, are all her grades really bad, or just certain subjects? It's not abnormal for a child, especially one who has had difficulties in the past with home life, to wish for college and/or freedom. Perhaps it's reality check time. Ask difficult child to go online with you one evening. Ask her which college or university she would be interested in attending. Then, go on the school website and look up the admission pages. Look at the average SAT scores (did she take the PSATs this year?) for freshman students and the average grade point average in high school (I did this over Christmas break with easy child so she would know what she has to work for). Ask her if she is even close. Just give her something to think about without conflict or argument. Then the next day ask her if she has thought about the fact that she wouldn't be able to get into the college of her choice with her current grades. Ask if she understands what the other options are. Part time community college with a fulltime job to pay for apartment? Perhaps she can just think about it for a little while. Confrontation does nothing - I know you know you that. If she cannot handle the schoolwork without your involvement, perhaps you will have to become involved again. She may need you to guide her into an established/scheduled homework hour. If she doesn't have an hours worth of homework, she could do what she has then read or the two of you could spend the rest of time talking. Would it be reinforced at dad's house? We still have homework time at my house. When easy child is not working, she's right there with us at the dining room table. If I left her alone, she would start it at 10 at night and then work until she fell asleep. I know that's typical teen stuff, but I try to help with the study habits and hope they truly become habits! Wendy, difficult child has made a lot of progress over the last couple years. The fact that she has anxiety could have been the knowledge that you would find out about her grades or she could be feeling pressure at school. Has she ever been tested for any lds? Sorry this is so long, but I was trying to cover all the bases. Hugs, Sharon [/QUOTE]
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