Maybe it's Not the Twilight Zone...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, Nov 20, 2009.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Maybe it's a sit-com.

    In the midst of all of this stress and turmoil--I got a call about a job application (Yay!!!!)...

    Only it was a little strange--the guy called me four times and kept changing the date he wanted me to come in for an interview. Weird, but whatever, it's a job.

    On the day of the interview, the boss was not available, but I was welcomed as 'the new person'. They asked what shift I was working that day. As I came prepared for an interview, I already had an appointment with difficult child's counselor scheduled that morning--so I stayed a couple of hours and did some work in the front office.

    Later, the boss decides he wants his 'interview', so he asks me to meet him at a certain time on Thursday. I arrive at the appointed time--he was not in--but asked me to continue training in the front office until he arrives.

    "Interview" goes well--the boss asks me to stay and work the whole day. Unfortunately, I cannot because difficult child had another appointment. No problem, though, we create a work schedule for me for the next week.

    So yay!!! I am hired. I have a job.

    I leave work at lunchtime and take difficult child to her appointment, which is at the hospital.

    I arrive home to discover that the boss called twice while I was out. I returm his call to find him FUMING. And one of the things he is upset about is that I left work early and could not be reached by cell.


    We talk for a few minutes--I get the impression that everything is fine. There just must have been some misunderstanding about something. We hang up.

    He calls back again, fuming again and he yells some more. Then he decides everything is fine--maybe I just need more training.

    I am now on my way out the door...I am going to drive right past this place...and frankly, I am ready to just turn in everything they gave me and be done. So I called him back and basically said that I don't want to work for him if he is so unhappy with me. He assured me that he DID want me working there and everything was fine. OK...

    Later that evening, he called and had changed his mind. I'd been fired.

    Now, add this ridiculousness to difficult child's **** as we drive back and forth to these appointments. She is so sullen and angry. Making cracks about how she and her friends (who also want to kill their parents) are going to get together and then we'll be sorry. And the constant attitude!!!

    So, now I really am ready to have my stroke.

    I decide I need to get some kind of medication to help take the edge off of this stress--BUT I don't have insurance and I don't have a doctor...

    So I go to the E.R. and asked whether my symptoms needed to be "seen". Blood pressure up...heartrate fast....but no chest pains. So I am given a clean bill of health and sent home with some Atavan.

    On my way out--the doctor has a suggestion that will really help me with some of the family issues that are getting me so stressed. He recommends I go to....

    (wait for it)

    our county mental health facility.

    Yes, the place that is making me so darn mad I could scream. I am sure that I will find them very VERY helpful for relieving some of this stress and anxiety.


    I don't know whether to laugh or cry...

    I guess I choose to laugh.

    Either I am already insane, and that's why nothing has been making sense lately....

    Or by the time I am done with all of this, I will BE insane.

    Thanks for listening.

  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Ok......I know this is painful for you and it's truly I hope you don't mind that I laughed when I read the absurdity.

    Take my word for it. You don't need the difficult child boss. What a whackjob. As for your daughter saying all her friends want to kill their parents, like it's normal...yeah, ok.

    And then the mental health center.

    I really hope that Ativan helps and that you can find some way to see a GOOD doctor or talk therapist who can actually HELP you. I've kind of been in your crazy twilight zone before and I feel for you. Sending gentle hugs and hoping things calm down for you a bit.
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!


    You are better off NOT working at that place! The rapidly flip-flopping first appointment should have been a warning that they are disorganized and unprofessional. Something much better will come along!

    At least you got the Ativan and a look over to make sure your heart is not ready to burst. I don't know if you can make time to just go for a walk once a day, but sometimes getting outside for some fresh air and a little exercise can do wonders for your stress levels.

    I'm glad you're trying to laugh at the craziness. It will serve you much better than letting it bring you down. You can't change a lot of what's going on around you, but you CAN change how you look at it. :D

    Hang in there!
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    O yes--I think all we CAN do is laugh.

    Because I'm starting to conclude that I must be the problem...after all, I can't hold a job....I've been asking for records that don't exist...I'm paranoid that somebody I live with is trying to kill me.

    Perhaps I am the one with the mental illness???

  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Thanks, GCVMom!

    I agree--I am better off NOT working at that place. How frustrating that I had to go through that garbage right now, though, in the midst of all this other stuff. I definitely don't need any more drama.

  6. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    This is the sort of stuff that happened in Australia during the Great Depression - my mother told me some stories about my father trying to find work. One place offered him a managerial position, but to get it they wanted him to "train" (ie work) for minimal to no pay for a month. After the month, they sacked him and made te same offer to another bloke. After the month, they did the same thing again. A good way to get enthusiastic and willing workers for next to no pay...

    That boss sounds very disorganised. And to expect you to work instead of just be interviewed - sorry, that's not how it goes. When you get hired for a job, not only are you on probation with the employer, but the employer is on probation with you. It's a two-way agreement, either one of you can decide it's not working and walk away.

    He wanted you there for an interview, but couldn't ensure he actually WAS tere at the time you had both agreed. You chose to stay and work (it's a possible job, I don't blame you, but it was your choice, you didn't have to, he couldn't have penalised you for it). There were no terms of employment in place, nothing really had been agreed. You were merely showing him what you could do. Well, showing someone, since he wasn't there.
    You spoke to him and explained about prior committments, especially given the lack of notice and organisation from him. You are a very organised person and require the same level of organisation from other people.

    He clearly doesn't listen. He didn't write down when you had agreed to have the appointment; he clearly doesn't write down his other committments, which is why he kept having to change your appointment. He didn't make note of your need to start the following week and the schedule you had both worked out. He didn't make notes, he doesn't listen, he simply is not a good employer but a spoilt brat instead. I hazard a guess - daddy bought him the business? Or he's acquired it somehow, there's no way he could have built it up by himself if he doesn't organise himself well.

    And now you have learned from the experience, you will be even better equipped to see the signs (if any) if anything like this happens again. It's all valuable experience, even the bad stuff.

    As for difficult child and her constant threats - whatever you feel privately, don't let her scare you. Don't let her see you taking them at all seriously. Maybe say something like, "I know you are just blowing off steam but be careful of who you say this stuff to or you could find yourself behind bars for making threats. People in authority take threats to other people seriously in these times. It's one thing for your friends to perhaps agree and say, 'Yeah, I hate my parents too' - every teenager does at some stage. But you are dreaming if you think there's a snowball's chance in purgatory that any of them would join you in acting this out. So for heaven's sake, stop being such a drama queen and focus on living YOUR life, not talking about ending mine. You think I'm enjoying life right now? You'd be doing me a favour. Want to kill me? Take a number and wait, because I'm first in line!"

    I actually used that tactic on difficult child 1 when he was being particularly obnoxious in a similar way. In his case he was talking about suicide and I was saying to him, "My turn first!"
    This told him that I felt bad too, I explained my reasons for feeling bad (ie you have to have reasons) and also that I understood feelings like this. He began to talk to me more about his feelnigs which made it easier to get help for him, because once he had talked Occupational Therapist (OT) me (REALLY talked to me) he would then talk to the therapist and psychiatrist, who got him onto Zoloft. Which worked for him.

    And if she reports you to her therapist for saying such stuff, then deny it. Who's crazy now?

  7. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    I think you were interviewing/working for my former boss (from over a decade ago). :surprise: I worked for him for 3 years. It's probably the reason I can deal with difficult child's...cause he was a big one.

    Next time you go to the ER, ask for a padded room in a locked ward. Tell them you need some rest and that's the only way you're gonna get it. :tongue: The locked ward isn't to keep you's to keep everyone else OUT. And the padded room....well, you might as well be comfy.

    Seriously, though....I'm so sorry. This is just so unreal.

  8. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    You are always so insightful! And you manage to put things in a perspective that I hadn't considered--the boss probably WAS trying to get work for free, he definitely wasn't listening to anything I had to say, and you're right on--he recently acquired the business, he didn't build it himself.

    Yes, in the past I have tried to just ignore all of difficult child's threats. Instead, I just brought all of the notes and writings to her docs and therapists to deal with, who promptly dismissed all of them. But now that we have reached a level where I feel like I am living in a constant battle with this child (and the docs and therapists have reached the end of the services they are willing to provide), I am collecting evidence and taking all of this seriously. Many a social worker has advised difficult child that making such threats is a criminal act (in fact, many of the responses from her old friends have advised her that she is talking about murder and that they won't talk about stuff like that)

    --but difficult child is making a new circle of much more dangerous friends...and it is only a matter of time before some gang-banger wannabe is gonna grab his father's shotgun and try and help difficult child out of her abusive home situation.

    So whether difficult child is making threats to blow off steam or not--when you start speaking that way with the wrong group of people, things can quickly take a very bad turn.

    So one way or another, our family needs some serious intervention. I am going to make all the noise that I can until I am heard.


    You are right, a safe, comfy, and quiet padded room sounds lovely right about now. Do you think they'll let me bring my dogs?

  9. ML

    ML Guest

    You sure dodged a bullet not having that boss in your life. Just imagine! Things really *could* be worse. Hang in there and know that this too shall pass.
  10. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    LOL! Who would have thought that a new job would be "worse"...?

  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That boss wouldnt be named Dobbs would it?

    I swear, back in early 90's I was trying to find a job and I went through the unemployment office. They called me one day and told me an employer read my application and wanted to interview me. I went to their office and spoke with them. He immediately offered me the job and asked me if I could start working that afternoon to "see how I would do." Well my kids were in elementary school, so I said I could work until the bus got home but I would have to leave then to go meet them at home because I hadnt arranged any after school care. He wasnt happy but allowed me to go. He wanted me to come in the next two days. I arranged a sitter for those two days. On the last day, he told me he didnt think I would work out because I had kids. OK....well...when would I get my check for the 2 and a half days? Oh...I wasnt getting a check...that had all been my INTERVIEW!!!!

    I was livid. I had paid a lady to watch my kids so I could go to this jerks place and I wasnt getting paid? Oh heck no! I went down to unemployment to complain and found out that what he did was actually illegal but because I had no way of proving he made me work because I didnt clock in or sign in I had no case. He was a scammer. They did refuse to take him on as a client again.