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Me and my big mouth!!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 660548" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I would tell her that the kids are invited, but that you aren't ready to see her yet. If they don't like the terms, I'd get together with my adult children or friends who are good to me. You keep engaging her and, unfortunately, engaging these grandchildren mean engaging her. She probably has quite a hold over them.</p><p></p><p>You waste so much time on her when you have so many other blessings. You may need to let go of these older grandchildren, as well as her, until they are of age and out of the house to get relief. Do you see how you got yourself involved with her again? You didn't have to ask your grands to the barbecue. Apparently, your other daughter did not ask them.</p><p></p><p>I don't know why you keep trying. You are going to get sick as a dog over this one daughter that is not worth it and will never be worth it.</p><p></p><p>If she does go, don't pay attention to what she does. You already know she won't bring anything and will take food with her. She really makes you furious, even though you are aware of what she is like.</p><p></p><p>I think you should read up on radical acceptance. Put it into your search engine. Radical Acceptance. She is what she is. You have no control over her. You can only control your reaction to her and your contact with her. So far she is making you darn near crazy, because you are letting her behavior drive you, and you are finding ways to let her into your life, perhaps sub-consciously. Of course the kids would think you meant the entire family was invited, right?</p><p></p><p>I hope one day I read that you have disconnected from her and the kids. Heck, the way your daughter is, she and the grands may turn on you big time in the future...all of them. You need to protect yourself or you could pay a terrible price. This daughter and possibly her kids are quite dangerous.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 660548, member: 1550"] I would tell her that the kids are invited, but that you aren't ready to see her yet. If they don't like the terms, I'd get together with my adult children or friends who are good to me. You keep engaging her and, unfortunately, engaging these grandchildren mean engaging her. She probably has quite a hold over them. You waste so much time on her when you have so many other blessings. You may need to let go of these older grandchildren, as well as her, until they are of age and out of the house to get relief. Do you see how you got yourself involved with her again? You didn't have to ask your grands to the barbecue. Apparently, your other daughter did not ask them. I don't know why you keep trying. You are going to get sick as a dog over this one daughter that is not worth it and will never be worth it. If she does go, don't pay attention to what she does. You already know she won't bring anything and will take food with her. She really makes you furious, even though you are aware of what she is like. I think you should read up on radical acceptance. Put it into your search engine. Radical Acceptance. She is what she is. You have no control over her. You can only control your reaction to her and your contact with her. So far she is making you darn near crazy, because you are letting her behavior drive you, and you are finding ways to let her into your life, perhaps sub-consciously. Of course the kids would think you meant the entire family was invited, right? I hope one day I read that you have disconnected from her and the kids. Heck, the way your daughter is, she and the grands may turn on you big time in the future...all of them. You need to protect yourself or you could pay a terrible price. This daughter and possibly her kids are quite dangerous. [/QUOTE]
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