Ahem,
Welcome to the "Mean Mom Club". Said club was founded by me, "The Meanest Mom on the Planet."
I am the *itch of *itches. The woman never to be messed with. I am the woman every child within a 10 miles radius jumps to obey, even if they aren't mine. I see every move you make no matter where you may be, I hear every word you say no matter who you say it to, I'm the reader of minds, and I know your every thought. I have The Look that can make you regret every bad deed you ever did, even if you think that by some miracle you managed to slip one past me, The Look that will make you stop dead in your tracks and forget to breathe.
I AM the baddest, meanest Mom in the known Universe. So sit up and take notice. I'm gonna watch you, I'm gonna know were you are and what you're doing, and I'm gonna know who you're with. And when you step outta line, I'll be the first person there to make you get back on track, whether you want to or not. Why? Because I'm the Mean Mom.
And because I love you.
If I didn't, I wouldn't care what you did.