Meeting with son and wife

[BusynMember]

I can't blame the mediator. Like I said, she is an elderly volunteer with a good heart. She probably thought everything they said was true because I didn't bother correcting them.

I think I was able to handle it because I was in shock...lol.

 

[donna723]

I wouldn't be so sure that he has such a "happy life"! I don't see how anyone could be peaceful, happy and contented in their life when they are so consumed by anger, hostility, rule making, maintaining absolute control at all costs, and wallowing in every imagined offense that anyone has ever done to them! He reminds me of Dustin Hoffman's character in the movie "Rain Man". Remember? He kept a notebook entitled "Grievious Offenses Committed Against Me" or something like that and he'd write down every tiny little slight or imagined injustice done to him. Every time his brother did something he didn't like, he'd whip out his notebook and start writing. That's just not normal!

No one is ever going to be able to follow his ridiculous "rules" closely enough to suit him or conform to exactly what he wants them to be ... not his wife or his child or his inlaws or anyone else. He's going to be constantly frustrated and angry and will make all those around him miserable too.

 

[DDD]

He may not live a "happy life" but he is living the life he has consciously chosen. As an "unusual" person he has found a life partner much like himself which if often not easy to do. They have evidently found a church community that is strongly structured and helps define their rigidity. He has achieved financial success and apparently just "doesn't feel the need" to expand his family boundaries. Those are his choices. It is not easy for those who are "disordered" or borderline "disordered" to find what they need or believe they need.

My heart is with MWM and her family. I've never traveled that road but I have been rejected by my favorite son (although not totally) and it has taken me years to learn to live with it. One or two calls or visits a year although he lives in the same State? Not one conversation that explains or apologizes for the divide. Not knowing is painful. But he is livng his life in good health with children who are doing well.

I am not good at anger. I am fairly good at accepting the things I can not change. MWM now knows in her heart what she has to accept. I am glad that she has that knowledge and I 100% believe she and her family will live more happily in the future as the result of that painful meeting. DDD